everything in
it's right place

argh! i went clubbing today. dunno why sarah sounded so opposed to it when i sms-ed her. but maybe i should've listened to her... because i did smoke a bit. which is terrible! argh -slaps myself- anyway jon chan gave me the pack of ciggeretes but i'm going to throw it away as soon as i leave his house. i'll have to extend my ban until... forever! maybe that'll finally stop me for once.

clubbed at zouk (mambo) and i met soooooo many people! whom i didn't even know were going. first of all, i was supposed to be going with jon chan. so we met chao, sean, leo and a bunch of other people whom i do not know. then i was also supposed to meet diana, daphne, cheryl, and their friends tiffany and a bunch of other people whom i also never got to really meet. they weren't really the friendly sorts, and the only friendly person i knew besides the twins was cheryl. so i sort of left them up to their own devices for most of the night and followed my own friends. who happened to be so fun! even those people i didn't know at all. haha cool. actually i did know them but they're more like aquaintences and not friends.

AND! before i actually went it, i met rachel! she was like 'chris!!!! today's my 20th birthday and wow i drank like 7 shots at my friends place so i'm really stonedddd'. that was followed by her sister natalie too. both of them are really pretty :) but in the club they looked really, ok i mean really really really drunk. they told me to come back when i was more... drunk... but i'm not really that kind of person nowadays to get drunk anyway. and they told me not to tell their parents :) i'll probably forget anyway.

AND! i also met justina! like suddenly this whole bunch of church people turn up. which was pretty amusing. just before the club closed at 3am she looked for me and eventually joined my clique, dancing to some really wonderfully nice music! imagine gold 90.5 + class 95 + retro 70s + dance beats + fabulous friendsand that equates to a whole lot fun! too bad the club closed about 20 minutes later. i thought it was really early for a club to close at 3, but well. normal people have to sleep too...

so now i'm sitting at jon chan's house, blogging on his computer, refusing to sleep for fear of never being able to wake up time (1 hour from now). thankfully nikki is online! who'd know, right? of all people to be online at this hour, it's actually her who's keeping me company. she actually sent me her US university application essay to read, just for fun. haha i'm half happy, half... i don't know. just that thin smile, the kind where you don't grin and show your teeth like mad. it's reconciliation of broken pasts. it's like a worker finally patching the chipped window frame after years of just sitting there. and i really just want to thank God for it because the past year i sort of did pray about it numerous (ok, a LOT) of times. and somehow, these days it is coming true! she's talking to me more and more each day. :) but i don't like her in the way i used to before. i think it's impossible, even if she were to go on her knees and beg.

anyway just hope that i'll be able to stay awake till 5.45am and get a cab back to camp. then i can just lie down and sleep and stone in the bunk the whole day. and maybe practice some jazz and read that galatians chapter again! which i had totally no idea about after reading it last night. i read the second part of the chapter about a billion zillion times and it was just going in circles! reminded me of the debate in some newspaper about philosophers being unnessicerily wordy and technical. but that's a whole different story which is not really related.

perhaps this is enough blogging for the night. pray i keep awake for another hour and that i remember to read the galatians 4 again and that i throw away the cigerettes and that i never smoke again :) and even when clubbing or whatever next time! everybody who actually reads this blog please slap/punch/kick me!