everything in
it's right place

I hate it how once good friends can actually become barely aquaintances. It all seems so fake, when once we all seem almost as if best of friends but a couple of months down the road, we barely know each other. Friends who don't even bother to call or even a message, unless you initiate it first; these kind of people don't really deserve friendship but sometimes you know it feels so painful just to let them go. It's the feeling of insecurity, the lack of feeling wanted or loved. Ya maybe you can say i'm insecure but how can you feel at home or at peace if who you think are your closest buddies sometimes don't even care.

That's really just rambling but there's this certain person who just ticks it off inside of me everytime and it's really getting on my nerves. My neighbour wants told me (yah haha really) that you shouldn't give your love out to people who don't love you, that you're really worth more than that and it's perhaps the truest words you could ever apply to any sort of relationship, no matter how close.


Anyway I had church this morning which was pretty cool because the Christmas service was special, but Jeff was taking all sorts of nonsense photos and we weren't really listening, more like just taking nonsense photos. After service dom wayne debs jeff and val went to tiong bahru plaza to watch oceans 12 which seemed like a Really Messy Movie and didn't really click that well. I thought Kung Fu Hustle was much better :) but valerie hates it apparently. I was pretty stoned today though, not in the mood perhaps despite the company so after that I decided to head home (my uncle was having a gathering but all they do is gamble so i decided against it).

So that's a Christmas for ya, merry or not. I don't know why but i'm always feeling upside down like this; when everyone's happy I'm feeling down and when everyone's down I'm usually hanging on good... probably just the stubborn flu that i'm having. It's just not christmas if you don't feel loved.