sometimes my friends make me want to just break down and cry. not only for you, perhaps maybe for me too. that you're the way you are. that you're not how i really wished that you would be. and i really have so much that i want to say, but my mouth just comes to this big verbal road block and the words stop at the edge of my lips, falling off into the abyss of embaressment and meaningless hope.
why did you choose to ruin your life this way?! and the things you say just make me want to slap you. because true love is not about you, it's to an extent about everything but you.
and silently, semi-conciously i was praying, saying God how could You let such a thing happen to her? and i love You so much for having set me relatively straight despite my many shortcomings. it's a sadists' delight; look she's fucked and you're not so cheer up.
to think that i had trivialised such matters before that; i could've never been more apologetic. it's all passed and over with, for her at least. thank god
naked i came from my mother's womb
and naked i will depart
the lord gave and the lord has taken away
may the name of the lord be praised
job1:21
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