everything in
it's right place

going back to camp tonight and really dreading it despite being one of the most slack months out of many recent months. somehow it's just the intimadating (no, that's not really the right word. dauting?) atmosphere in camp that gets to me. people telling you to do this and that, responsibilities shoved piled on your shoulders and the very irritating constant need to appear busy.

staying at home (or anywhere else besides in an army camp, for that matter) just seems so much more delectable at times. had a swim today, didn't really keep count (i think it's between 40-50) but i did lots of laps with the pull buoy; they don't allow paddles in public pools and i don't really understand how it's dangerous to use paddles even though the only other person in the pool is 10 meters away and in a different lane. at least you can admire the guards for keeping the rules black and white.

listening to my chemical romance. their wacky pop-goth style is kinda growing on me. even their morbid lyrics ("would you marry me, would you bury me") are having their appeal. which is pretty scary, if you know what i mean.

i think it's funny how the smallest things (like gee, receiving an sms) can affect me so much. sometimes good sometimes bad. it's like travelling between the extremes, the fiery center of the sun and the dead cold of the arctic.

talking to debbie now about relationships, perservering and determination and giving up and things we get out of relationships both succesful and failed. quite enlightening a bit saddening but altogether entertaining. some memories you just erase, i guess.