everything in
it's right place

after extensive browsing and numerous tests and whatever, i have come to a conclusion.

singaporean girls (the younger ones, or at least those who look below 30) consist of approximately 90% ah lians. all hardcore fans of bands like machi, f.i.r. and other taiwanese and chinese celebrities are ah lians. also, 20% of these fans are probably crazy (mentally unstable) too.

also, singaporeans really love freebies. they not only want one or two or three, but as many as possible just because it's free!?! and the lies some of them would go to get their way!

anyway, here's some tips if you want to get in to your next 'festival of praise' or whatever free event coming your way:

1. "my stuff was inside just now i just went out to bring my mom to the toilet!"

2. "my kids are lost inside help me in NOW"

3. (if you're a kid but obviously went there with friends) "i only went to the toilet but my mommy's inside!! *cry*"

4. just chiong past and ignore security while they try to chase you down in futility. and at the same time let in everyone else who's waiting behind you.

5. "can i stand behind you? this place is so dirty *doe eyes* i won't go in i'll just stand behind you cuz it's soooo dirty!!" *then sneak in while no one's looking*

gah. just some of the nonsense people try to tell me while doing security (i'm more of a traffic cone/sign post than a security guard). it's unbelievable, and the most incredible part about all this: i can't do anything about it but let them in, being the nice kind considerate guy i am. one day i'll be mean and just say 'SIAM LAH KNNBCCB@#$@$^$&*(!!!"

arghargh