don't know why i've been pushing the thought of this further and further back. whether or not to pursue a long distant relationship is slowly wearing me away. i know what my heart wants, i can't seem to match it up with whatever is the sensible thing to do. she seems indifferent to either choice, something i'm not really happy with either. saying "i don't mind" to a relationship is akin to "doesn't matter enough to choose" or "don't want to have the burden to decide". hope i'm not reading too much into things.
in four years, will people change? will i meet someone else? will i meet no one else? will i regret leaving behind the best time of my life because i was too afraid to get the guts to tough it out?
it's a long road ahead
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