everything in
it's right place

i'm in the library now. my new home. haha :/ studying for bio mid-semester test, which is tomorrow. i have to study in the library, because being at home with my mom irks me. not the best attitude to have, but it gets on me so much that i can't even have a minute of concentration.

i sleep annoyed, i wake up annoyed. i even had a dream about army last night; that's how pissed i was. something about oversleeping guard duty, and wanting to go to the docs to get an MC but my dad wouldn't allow me ('who do you think i am, an MC vending machine?! go protect your country!' zzz).

my friend's aren't really turning up for school nowadays, have been sitting with charmaine and terrence most of them time. which isn't that bad, because she usually knows her work pretty well (unlike me). really trying to catch up on the studying, and many people agree (oops). after chem test, sze yin actually said 'chris... do you know anything at all...' (lol, actually not much).

so here i am... alone, mugging away in the library, escaping from my ever-nagging mom, doodling away on library-rented laptops.

i also realised that personalised crumplers are soooooo nice. so i'm going to get one.

it would be nicer if someone got one for me though. haha.



ok lost my muse, back to mugging. away in the library. alone. secretly. but not-so-secretly anymore. peacefully. no mom. no WoW. no bed. just books :/

BOOKS!

my mom is here

and she nags so much

even though she thinks she doesn't

she infringes on my bubble

and it drives me

MAD



i'm going to camp in school all day tomorrow, so no one can say that i'm not studying or that i play or slack too much. i used to stay home to be alone all the time, now i have to go out to be alone! argh!

woke up today and jumped when i looked at my alarm clock: 9.30am! oh wtf, don't tell me i missed math lecture again?!

then i realised, damn, it's actually saturday.

i hateeeee school!

haven't been blogging for a really long time; it seems that i've just lost the muse for it. to think of it, i've lost a lot of things. i've been in a world of my own lately, totally disillusioned yet partly satisfied.

haven't really been keen on going to school at all, the thought of actually studying puts me off completely. yes, that's a really bad lane to go down but i just can't keep myself very much interested in it. school work has surprisingly been ok, and i actually managed to scrape through the last physics test (thanks to clever copying).

a lot of other thoughts have occupied itself where they don't belong. it's amazing how i can totally twist reality into a dream, sometimes even a nightmare. i miss a few people, some so near and others so far, but all of them in a world completely lost to me. it feels terrible when someone you thought you knew isn't the someone you know anymore. when you really want to talk to someone, but you know the words just refuse to flow.

something's missing in my life, and in that hole i replaced it with my dreams and illusions. however dreams are just that, and when they disappear in a puff of smoke all that's left is a cold, black hole.

i'm living in my own bubble. escapism works wonders on the empty soul.


this post sounds pretty pathetic.

drivin' faster in my car
falling farther from just what we are
smoke a cigarette and lie some more
these conversations kill
falling faster in my car

time to take her home
her dizzy head is conscience laden
time to take a ride
it leaves today no conversation
time to take her home
her dizzy head is conscience laden
time to wait too long
to wait too long
these conversations kill

to much walkin', shoes worn thin
too much trippin' and my soul's worn thin
time to catch a ride
it leaves today, her name is what it means
to much walkin', shoe's worn thin

This blog is dying, pretty much. Gah.

I don't know why people come to me with all the love problems, as if I have the solutions to all of them. Truth is, I don't even have the answers to mine.