30 December 2004
man, i think i'm hooked on jay again. i've been listening to him like nonstop since last night. arghhhhhhh :)
it's such an early time in the morning, an already the sky's looking so gloomy. and i was going to run my epic 2340975 km route!
i just woke up and now i'm practicing the songs (acoustic style) for the worship later. until now i don't know if i'm playing acoustic or lead electric, so i'm just practicing like crazy and hoping for the best. yesterday's worship was such a disaster! i feel really bad for paul, who was there at 5pm because that was exactly when the practice was supposed to start. and i thought i was really late so rushed down in a cab and got there at 5.20pm, and no one was in there yet! finally the practice started at 6pm, and dominic was saying how sarah was going to come late. well it's so funny in the end she wasn't late at all, because she arrived just in time as our practice started (which was 6pm!)
and my mom was nagging away the other day about how we should just book a jam studio for $10/hr instead of the CPA for $200/hr. so now i'm practicing like mad. however i was so blur yesterday! i guess it's because i haven't played in a band environment for a really long time so i wasn't really sure, and all i play is that jazz flub. so i REALLY forgot how to play this solo-ing stuff bleah it's so lousy.
and so it's getting really late now (11am, for a run that is) so i'm debating whether to meet emily who took back her ex after dumping him (how dumb). bah
i just woke up and now i'm practicing the songs (acoustic style) for the worship later. until now i don't know if i'm playing acoustic or lead electric, so i'm just practicing like crazy and hoping for the best. yesterday's worship was such a disaster! i feel really bad for paul, who was there at 5pm because that was exactly when the practice was supposed to start. and i thought i was really late so rushed down in a cab and got there at 5.20pm, and no one was in there yet! finally the practice started at 6pm, and dominic was saying how sarah was going to come late. well it's so funny in the end she wasn't late at all, because she arrived just in time as our practice started (which was 6pm!)
and my mom was nagging away the other day about how we should just book a jam studio for $10/hr instead of the CPA for $200/hr. so now i'm practicing like mad. however i was so blur yesterday! i guess it's because i haven't played in a band environment for a really long time so i wasn't really sure, and all i play is that jazz flub. so i REALLY forgot how to play this solo-ing stuff bleah it's so lousy.
and so it's getting really late now (11am, for a run that is) so i'm debating whether to meet emily who took back her ex after dumping him (how dumb). bah
29 December 2004
man i can feel my heartbeat in my shoulder. is that good or bad?
anyway today's event was this thing called 'wayne's bbq' and it was pretty screwed up. ok maybe it was partly my fault because i didn't really join in but i think it was a pretty screwed up day. first sarah met me two hours late and she didnt even say sorry lah! wah lao you can never imagine how pissed i was... ok i'll just say it, it was the most pissed i ever got this week even more than my mom screwing about moving rooms or shitty feelings about passe people and people who don't answer phone calls. it was soooooo annoying but somehow i sort of let it off but it's still twitching at the back of my mind! and for the most stupid reason - the rain. it wasn't really as bad as say 'tsunami conditions' so just take an umbrella lah! ok i'm going a bit mad sigh just because of two hours.
ok the next annoying part which wasn't really annoying but a bit is that the taxi fare going home! oh man i forgot about the midnight charge so in the end the taxi fare became $16 haha but sigh it's ok i still love you guys -gives 'that' face- and i don't value money that much compared to many other things so it doesn't really affect me that much. yah but the taxi driver drove this screwed up route which costs me like $5 more and i had no idea how to correct him! so right, it's my fault too
then to top it off, i wanted to call D to tell her how weird today is but D didn't answer 4 of my calls -bleah-
sigh dunno why my mood's so bad these few days. sigh.
be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. and do not be anxious abt anything but in everything prayer and petition present your requests to god. and god will guard you hearts and your minds in christ jesus.
james1:19 phil4:6
anyway today's event was this thing called 'wayne's bbq' and it was pretty screwed up. ok maybe it was partly my fault because i didn't really join in but i think it was a pretty screwed up day. first sarah met me two hours late and she didnt even say sorry lah! wah lao you can never imagine how pissed i was... ok i'll just say it, it was the most pissed i ever got this week even more than my mom screwing about moving rooms or shitty feelings about passe people and people who don't answer phone calls. it was soooooo annoying but somehow i sort of let it off but it's still twitching at the back of my mind! and for the most stupid reason - the rain. it wasn't really as bad as say 'tsunami conditions' so just take an umbrella lah! ok i'm going a bit mad sigh just because of two hours.
ok the next annoying part which wasn't really annoying but a bit is that the taxi fare going home! oh man i forgot about the midnight charge so in the end the taxi fare became $16 haha but sigh it's ok i still love you guys -gives 'that' face- and i don't value money that much compared to many other things so it doesn't really affect me that much. yah but the taxi driver drove this screwed up route which costs me like $5 more and i had no idea how to correct him! so right, it's my fault too
then to top it off, i wanted to call D to tell her how weird today is but D didn't answer 4 of my calls -bleah-
sigh dunno why my mood's so bad these few days. sigh.
be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. and do not be anxious abt anything but in everything prayer and petition present your requests to god. and god will guard you hearts and your minds in christ jesus.
james1:19 phil4:6
26 December 2004
this is a really good verse. it's the verse by which my ex cell group leader became a christian. and really, it applies to so so much.
naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked i shall depart
the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away
may the name of the Lord be praised
job 1:21
naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked i shall depart
the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away
may the name of the Lord be praised
job 1:21
I hate it how once good friends can actually become barely aquaintances. It all seems so fake, when once we all seem almost as if best of friends but a couple of months down the road, we barely know each other. Friends who don't even bother to call or even a message, unless you initiate it first; these kind of people don't really deserve friendship but sometimes you know it feels so painful just to let them go. It's the feeling of insecurity, the lack of feeling wanted or loved. Ya maybe you can say i'm insecure but how can you feel at home or at peace if who you think are your closest buddies sometimes don't even care.
That's really just rambling but there's this certain person who just ticks it off inside of me everytime and it's really getting on my nerves. My neighbour wants told me (yah haha really) that you shouldn't give your love out to people who don't love you, that you're really worth more than that and it's perhaps the truest words you could ever apply to any sort of relationship, no matter how close.
Anyway I had church this morning which was pretty cool because the Christmas service was special, but Jeff was taking all sorts of nonsense photos and we weren't really listening, more like just taking nonsense photos. After service dom wayne debs jeff and val went to tiong bahru plaza to watch oceans 12 which seemed like a Really Messy Movie and didn't really click that well. I thought Kung Fu Hustle was much better :) but valerie hates it apparently. I was pretty stoned today though, not in the mood perhaps despite the company so after that I decided to head home (my uncle was having a gathering but all they do is gamble so i decided against it).
So that's a Christmas for ya, merry or not. I don't know why but i'm always feeling upside down like this; when everyone's happy I'm feeling down and when everyone's down I'm usually hanging on good... probably just the stubborn flu that i'm having. It's just not christmas if you don't feel loved.
That's really just rambling but there's this certain person who just ticks it off inside of me everytime and it's really getting on my nerves. My neighbour wants told me (yah haha really) that you shouldn't give your love out to people who don't love you, that you're really worth more than that and it's perhaps the truest words you could ever apply to any sort of relationship, no matter how close.
Anyway I had church this morning which was pretty cool because the Christmas service was special, but Jeff was taking all sorts of nonsense photos and we weren't really listening, more like just taking nonsense photos. After service dom wayne debs jeff and val went to tiong bahru plaza to watch oceans 12 which seemed like a Really Messy Movie and didn't really click that well. I thought Kung Fu Hustle was much better :) but valerie hates it apparently. I was pretty stoned today though, not in the mood perhaps despite the company so after that I decided to head home (my uncle was having a gathering but all they do is gamble so i decided against it).
So that's a Christmas for ya, merry or not. I don't know why but i'm always feeling upside down like this; when everyone's happy I'm feeling down and when everyone's down I'm usually hanging on good... probably just the stubborn flu that i'm having. It's just not christmas if you don't feel loved.
19 December 2004
Ok, due to recent (happy) circumstances, don't call :)
But you still can if you want to.
:)
But you still can if you want to.
:)
I feel so lost nowadays. It could be because of the flu. However I've been watching all these sappy romantic movies and their different perceptions of love, all of which I have neither :( So call me a lovesick puppy. Or really, just call me.
16 December 2004
argh! i went clubbing today. dunno why sarah sounded so opposed to it when i sms-ed her. but maybe i should've listened to her... because i did smoke a bit. which is terrible! argh -slaps myself- anyway jon chan gave me the pack of ciggeretes but i'm going to throw it away as soon as i leave his house. i'll have to extend my ban until... forever! maybe that'll finally stop me for once.
clubbed at zouk (mambo) and i met soooooo many people! whom i didn't even know were going. first of all, i was supposed to be going with jon chan. so we met chao, sean, leo and a bunch of other people whom i do not know. then i was also supposed to meet diana, daphne, cheryl, and their friends tiffany and a bunch of other people whom i also never got to really meet. they weren't really the friendly sorts, and the only friendly person i knew besides the twins was cheryl. so i sort of left them up to their own devices for most of the night and followed my own friends. who happened to be so fun! even those people i didn't know at all. haha cool. actually i did know them but they're more like aquaintences and not friends.
AND! before i actually went it, i met rachel! she was like 'chris!!!! today's my 20th birthday and wow i drank like 7 shots at my friends place so i'm really stonedddd'. that was followed by her sister natalie too. both of them are really pretty :) but in the club they looked really, ok i mean really really really drunk. they told me to come back when i was more... drunk... but i'm not really that kind of person nowadays to get drunk anyway. and they told me not to tell their parents :) i'll probably forget anyway.
AND! i also met justina! like suddenly this whole bunch of church people turn up. which was pretty amusing. just before the club closed at 3am she looked for me and eventually joined my clique, dancing to some really wonderfully nice music! imagine gold 90.5 + class 95 + retro 70s + dance beats + fabulous friendsand that equates to a whole lot fun! too bad the club closed about 20 minutes later. i thought it was really early for a club to close at 3, but well. normal people have to sleep too...
so now i'm sitting at jon chan's house, blogging on his computer, refusing to sleep for fear of never being able to wake up time (1 hour from now). thankfully nikki is online! who'd know, right? of all people to be online at this hour, it's actually her who's keeping me company. she actually sent me her US university application essay to read, just for fun. haha i'm half happy, half... i don't know. just that thin smile, the kind where you don't grin and show your teeth like mad. it's reconciliation of broken pasts. it's like a worker finally patching the chipped window frame after years of just sitting there. and i really just want to thank God for it because the past year i sort of did pray about it numerous (ok, a LOT) of times. and somehow, these days it is coming true! she's talking to me more and more each day. :) but i don't like her in the way i used to before. i think it's impossible, even if she were to go on her knees and beg.
anyway just hope that i'll be able to stay awake till 5.45am and get a cab back to camp. then i can just lie down and sleep and stone in the bunk the whole day. and maybe practice some jazz and read that galatians chapter again! which i had totally no idea about after reading it last night. i read the second part of the chapter about a billion zillion times and it was just going in circles! reminded me of the debate in some newspaper about philosophers being unnessicerily wordy and technical. but that's a whole different story which is not really related.
perhaps this is enough blogging for the night. pray i keep awake for another hour and that i remember to read the galatians 4 again and that i throw away the cigerettes and that i never smoke again :) and even when clubbing or whatever next time! everybody who actually reads this blog please slap/punch/kick me!
clubbed at zouk (mambo) and i met soooooo many people! whom i didn't even know were going. first of all, i was supposed to be going with jon chan. so we met chao, sean, leo and a bunch of other people whom i do not know. then i was also supposed to meet diana, daphne, cheryl, and their friends tiffany and a bunch of other people whom i also never got to really meet. they weren't really the friendly sorts, and the only friendly person i knew besides the twins was cheryl. so i sort of left them up to their own devices for most of the night and followed my own friends. who happened to be so fun! even those people i didn't know at all. haha cool. actually i did know them but they're more like aquaintences and not friends.
AND! before i actually went it, i met rachel! she was like 'chris!!!! today's my 20th birthday and wow i drank like 7 shots at my friends place so i'm really stonedddd'. that was followed by her sister natalie too. both of them are really pretty :) but in the club they looked really, ok i mean really really really drunk. they told me to come back when i was more... drunk... but i'm not really that kind of person nowadays to get drunk anyway. and they told me not to tell their parents :) i'll probably forget anyway.
AND! i also met justina! like suddenly this whole bunch of church people turn up. which was pretty amusing. just before the club closed at 3am she looked for me and eventually joined my clique, dancing to some really wonderfully nice music! imagine gold 90.5 + class 95 + retro 70s + dance beats + fabulous friendsand that equates to a whole lot fun! too bad the club closed about 20 minutes later. i thought it was really early for a club to close at 3, but well. normal people have to sleep too...
so now i'm sitting at jon chan's house, blogging on his computer, refusing to sleep for fear of never being able to wake up time (1 hour from now). thankfully nikki is online! who'd know, right? of all people to be online at this hour, it's actually her who's keeping me company. she actually sent me her US university application essay to read, just for fun. haha i'm half happy, half... i don't know. just that thin smile, the kind where you don't grin and show your teeth like mad. it's reconciliation of broken pasts. it's like a worker finally patching the chipped window frame after years of just sitting there. and i really just want to thank God for it because the past year i sort of did pray about it numerous (ok, a LOT) of times. and somehow, these days it is coming true! she's talking to me more and more each day. :) but i don't like her in the way i used to before. i think it's impossible, even if she were to go on her knees and beg.
anyway just hope that i'll be able to stay awake till 5.45am and get a cab back to camp. then i can just lie down and sleep and stone in the bunk the whole day. and maybe practice some jazz and read that galatians chapter again! which i had totally no idea about after reading it last night. i read the second part of the chapter about a billion zillion times and it was just going in circles! reminded me of the debate in some newspaper about philosophers being unnessicerily wordy and technical. but that's a whole different story which is not really related.
perhaps this is enough blogging for the night. pray i keep awake for another hour and that i remember to read the galatians 4 again and that i throw away the cigerettes and that i never smoke again :) and even when clubbing or whatever next time! everybody who actually reads this blog please slap/punch/kick me!
Dear Diary,
I just posted something but you little piece of shit decided to not record it so now I have to type it out all over again.
I'm so bored.
Oh sarah said that her dad didn't do the lunch on sunday. Even though I'm absolutely sure I heard her say that.
It sucks to be sick. I felt like I've just woken up, even though I've been awake (Ok, not really. Far from it actually!) the entire day. Watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (but I slept through a third of it. the most important third!).
Downloaded a whole lot of songs today; around 20 in fact. Most of them were Joe Pass' solo jazz guitar pieces, which were absolutely great to listen to. It's really cool when he does that walking bass thing. I tried learning more jazz stuff today, but I'm not well and it's quite tiring on the brain :(
Sending sarah some mp3s now which unfortunately are taking FOREVER to transfer.
Ok Diary, I'm bored. Bye!
xoxoxoxoxo,
chris
I just posted something but you little piece of shit decided to not record it so now I have to type it out all over again.
I'm so bored.
Oh sarah said that her dad didn't do the lunch on sunday. Even though I'm absolutely sure I heard her say that.
It sucks to be sick. I felt like I've just woken up, even though I've been awake (Ok, not really. Far from it actually!) the entire day. Watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (but I slept through a third of it. the most important third!).
Downloaded a whole lot of songs today; around 20 in fact. Most of them were Joe Pass' solo jazz guitar pieces, which were absolutely great to listen to. It's really cool when he does that walking bass thing. I tried learning more jazz stuff today, but I'm not well and it's quite tiring on the brain :(
Sending sarah some mp3s now which unfortunately are taking FOREVER to transfer.
Ok Diary, I'm bored. Bye!
xoxoxoxoxo,
chris
13 December 2004
ahh i'm sick today :( woke up feeling really crappy, with aching muscles, a really bad sore throat and sore eyes. plus a low grade fever! so i went to see the doctor... he was kinda stingy but in the end he gave me 2 days off. lucky me, i now have two days to watch my dvds! went to serene center after the docs (who didn't even charge me a cent!) and borrowed lots of movies. i got 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind', 'the terminal', 'butterfly effect', 'when harry met sally' and my mom also got 'bridget jones diary' the first one. i'm really just gonna watch eternal sunshine first! it's such a nice movie, and it's not those idiotic movies (aka blade trinity) either! i originally wanted to get 'before sunsets', but it was such a shame, the store didn't have it! i have it reserved for the weekend anyway.
on friday i went to meet sarah for lunch! stupid girl, she really had no money at all and after a week of staying it marsiling (crap jungle place) all i really wanted was just some nice food. so i ended up treating her too! i'm such a great friend... the meal costs about $50! and this dummy sarah was so dumb - the waitress told her to 'watch her step' and she fell down a second later. sigh
later we went to watch blade trinity, like i mentioned in the above paragraphs was ridiculously dumb. it's just about wesley snipes killing vampires? which is not really that cool at all lah, except for jessica biel. she's one hottie! but a little too much on the muscles, i think?
sunday was slightly different compared to other church going days. this time we didn't have cell group, because most of our group was away overseas. it was only karl dom sarah and i, so we decided to go to dover to eat! haha kinda wasted lah, because when we returned to church they had packed lunch for us! sarah's dad did it; it was nasi lemak packed into really cool japanese disposable plastic trays. but i was too full on duck rice and chicken cutlet to eat any of it.
after that we did some cake giving stuff, which surprisingly was over so fast! my group was designated at the boarding school, and we gave out all our cakes in around 15 minutes! too bad most of them weren't at home :( but we got to give out christmas blessings :) which the boys kinda accepted half-heartedly...
at the end of it we just had some retarded games (i think my brother organised it? they were quite hard) and tea. dom's really funny, he's like never seen enough girls in his life. he was dreaming of all the little kiddies who were around sec1, imagining them as his girlfriends! and he's like, jc2? maybe only physically. haha but that's mean.
and sarah think she's really fat! mostly because we were telling her straight in the face... haha i think she's just fine. i saw some other stickly girls the other day and they didn't really look huggable :) haha i think i'm too bored and getting stupid. back to dvds and playing jazz (my jazz playing sounds quite bearable on the piano! wonderful stuff)
on friday i went to meet sarah for lunch! stupid girl, she really had no money at all and after a week of staying it marsiling (crap jungle place) all i really wanted was just some nice food. so i ended up treating her too! i'm such a great friend... the meal costs about $50! and this dummy sarah was so dumb - the waitress told her to 'watch her step' and she fell down a second later. sigh
later we went to watch blade trinity, like i mentioned in the above paragraphs was ridiculously dumb. it's just about wesley snipes killing vampires? which is not really that cool at all lah, except for jessica biel. she's one hottie! but a little too much on the muscles, i think?
sunday was slightly different compared to other church going days. this time we didn't have cell group, because most of our group was away overseas. it was only karl dom sarah and i, so we decided to go to dover to eat! haha kinda wasted lah, because when we returned to church they had packed lunch for us! sarah's dad did it; it was nasi lemak packed into really cool japanese disposable plastic trays. but i was too full on duck rice and chicken cutlet to eat any of it.
after that we did some cake giving stuff, which surprisingly was over so fast! my group was designated at the boarding school, and we gave out all our cakes in around 15 minutes! too bad most of them weren't at home :( but we got to give out christmas blessings :) which the boys kinda accepted half-heartedly...
at the end of it we just had some retarded games (i think my brother organised it? they were quite hard) and tea. dom's really funny, he's like never seen enough girls in his life. he was dreaming of all the little kiddies who were around sec1, imagining them as his girlfriends! and he's like, jc2? maybe only physically. haha but that's mean.
and sarah think she's really fat! mostly because we were telling her straight in the face... haha i think she's just fine. i saw some other stickly girls the other day and they didn't really look huggable :) haha i think i'm too bored and getting stupid. back to dvds and playing jazz (my jazz playing sounds quite bearable on the piano! wonderful stuff)
6 December 2004
you know what? i give up! this is about time i rest from all the jazz schmazz :)
this weekend i've learnt about (and mastered some!) extended and altered chords, chord substituition, flat seventh and diminished chords, and skimmed on 'parallel chromatic movement' which is really just playing crap chords next to each other that don't really sound that nice. as is the case with playing diminished chords all over the house!
and i can almost keep track of all the inversions (somehow i remember the more complicated ones first! and forget the easy ones?!) halfway through the book after two weekends. actually more like a third through. tough stuff on the brain, man!
started off the day by going to church. my brother was actually on time! he was ready by 9.45am to go to church; he's only usually out at 10am. and he drove really slowly. i think he still has the jitters from his accident? maybe. poor guy. after service we had a briefing about cake giving where people in our church go around distributing some christmas spirit! by giving cakes to people all over the neighbourhood and the acs boarding school too. it was such a boring briefing anyway, i didnt pay attention. and karl fell asleep! until i woke him up. haha.
there was supposed to be this thing called 'youth jam' after church. it was sort of a hassle at first, because i was supposed to go substitute karl and it was all over at the third place. then at the last minute they said it was canceled! i didn't know whether to be happy or sad. because i canceled all my plans for the afternoon! so i had to go find lunch by myself; sarah (who think she's seriously obese - give me a break!) was eating with her folks and so was jeff, the rest of our cell group sort of disappeared. thank God for jon chan! he drove all the way to pick me up at acs and we went to beach road to eat and look at guitars. he's such a nice guy! plus he even sent me to coronation plaza cuz i wanted to cut hair. but he didn't stay to send me back after that though; ok on second thought that would sort of be too much to ask for aleady.
this weekend i've learnt about (and mastered some!) extended and altered chords, chord substituition, flat seventh and diminished chords, and skimmed on 'parallel chromatic movement' which is really just playing crap chords next to each other that don't really sound that nice. as is the case with playing diminished chords all over the house!
and i can almost keep track of all the inversions (somehow i remember the more complicated ones first! and forget the easy ones?!) halfway through the book after two weekends. actually more like a third through. tough stuff on the brain, man!
started off the day by going to church. my brother was actually on time! he was ready by 9.45am to go to church; he's only usually out at 10am. and he drove really slowly. i think he still has the jitters from his accident? maybe. poor guy. after service we had a briefing about cake giving where people in our church go around distributing some christmas spirit! by giving cakes to people all over the neighbourhood and the acs boarding school too. it was such a boring briefing anyway, i didnt pay attention. and karl fell asleep! until i woke him up. haha.
there was supposed to be this thing called 'youth jam' after church. it was sort of a hassle at first, because i was supposed to go substitute karl and it was all over at the third place. then at the last minute they said it was canceled! i didn't know whether to be happy or sad. because i canceled all my plans for the afternoon! so i had to go find lunch by myself; sarah (who think she's seriously obese - give me a break!) was eating with her folks and so was jeff, the rest of our cell group sort of disappeared. thank God for jon chan! he drove all the way to pick me up at acs and we went to beach road to eat and look at guitars. he's such a nice guy! plus he even sent me to coronation plaza cuz i wanted to cut hair. but he didn't stay to send me back after that though; ok on second thought that would sort of be too much to ask for aleady.
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