after hours and days and months and years (almost), i have finally figured out how to connect my brother's ancient yamaha psr-400 keyboard to the computer via usb interface. all i need now is to get back my v-amp footswitch (because the damn keyboard lost its pedal), plug in the mixer and mic and the whole set up will be ready to record some decent tracks!
actually it was already fine without the keyboard, but having something tangible to press instead of clicking keys on the computer screen really makes life a whole lot easier (say keying in a drum beat in 5 seconds instead of taking all of 15 minutes to click a decent sound on the computer). and the madness, playing keyboard on the computer without a keyboard. something that sounds pretty impossible and in reality is, if not for some extreme (read 'hardcore') perserverence and patience.
back to ploughing through the net for more information on midi stuff. this is high powered nerd tech. either that or i must be pretty dumb nowadays!
random rants?
some people sigh all the time. especially online. what they're really saying is 'look, i need you to pick me up because i need your help, i'm dying and only you can save me and because i only want you to save me'.
sometimes i wonder why someone would like another person who doesn't like them. or hasn't liked them. why not give up, because really some things just seem so impossible. it's been so many months, after all. the optimists wing says that it's really only impossible once you've given up. but only to torture yourself everyday at the mere thought of it. so you're a victim too? maybe if it's any consolation at all, at least remember that i'm still waiting around the corner.
i wonder why some people bother reading the bible religiously (no pun intended) everyday when their god seems so distant. people say that it's all a test, because he wants to test your determination, your strength, your motivation. but we're all human after all. i have my limits too. i think he's balancing on the rim everyday. pray, you say. sometimes the answers i'd want aren't really the answers you get. if any answers at all?
sometimes i wonder why someone would like another person who doesn't like them. or hasn't liked them. why not give up, because really some things just seem so impossible. it's been so many months, after all. the optimists wing says that it's really only impossible once you've given up. but only to torture yourself everyday at the mere thought of it. so you're a victim too? maybe if it's any consolation at all, at least remember that i'm still waiting around the corner.
i wonder why some people bother reading the bible religiously (no pun intended) everyday when their god seems so distant. people say that it's all a test, because he wants to test your determination, your strength, your motivation. but we're all human after all. i have my limits too. i think he's balancing on the rim everyday. pray, you say. sometimes the answers i'd want aren't really the answers you get. if any answers at all?
a prayer - psalm142
I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.
I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.
When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.
Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.
I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living."
Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.
I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.
When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.
Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.
I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living."
Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.
what is real, just a dream
29 April 2005
managed a swim this morning. was rather pathetic, about 25 laps over the span of 90 minutes. spent most of the time just stoning and talking with jin he (who has disgustingly huge biceps). 500m in 9 minutes, is that any good? but i didn't even put in any effort, it felt like the time i was forced to swim every saturday at the NIE pool. just swim lah, chris.
i'm just dying for this to come. then i'll be able to return the guitarport to jon (which works wonderfully well, thanks). thanks to line6 i've ditched all of my guitar amps at home - not that they were that good anyway. the quality of these little gadgets are really top notch, and it makes playing so much more enjoyable (and better sounding too, hehe). not everything is in the player's fingers, especially in this hi-tech age of sound effects.
city music says that the next shipment is coming in may. really curious to how many copies they'd bring in; last i heard they were overwhelmed with orders. didn't place a deposit for my order, although now i'm kinda wishing i did. the thought of waiting 5 months for an effects pedal and having missed it because i did not place an order (money that would've been spent on the same product nonetheless) is annoying to say the least. but i'm sure there'll be enough stock (i'm just saying it for self-assurance).
notetoself - need to clock a lot of guitar practice time.
was surfing the net at some design sites (css beauty, unmatched style) and realised that many of the websites are really shit. i mean, quite a few of them are not that much better than mine. which is also considered quite mediocre. perhaps what some people consider to be good really isn't; or that i just have piss high standards. but i'd vote the former.
realised that quite a lot of people visit this site (relatively, considering i only announced it to fewer than 4 people?). i might change the address. but heck lah.
24 April 2005
had i the heavens' embroidered cloths,
enwrought with golden and silver light,
the blue and the dim and the dark cloths
of night and light and the half-light,
i would spread the cloths under your feet:
but i, being poor, have only my dreams;
i have spread my dreams under your feet;
tread softly because you tread upon my dreams
enwrought with golden and silver light,
the blue and the dim and the dark cloths
of night and light and the half-light,
i would spread the cloths under your feet:
but i, being poor, have only my dreams;
i have spread my dreams under your feet;
tread softly because you tread upon my dreams
minimalism
changed the layout today. black on white just seems easier to read, i might consider putting an image around here somewhere but not today. maybe next week? mayday's coming, after all. i uploaded a screenshot of the layout to flickr (on the right side). it should look like that, maybe. but whatever lah it doesn't make a difference.
downloaded some songs. namely, lifehouse's 'better luck next time' and 'blind'. the guitar is terrific... probably leaves me no choice but to buy the cd (unless someone can help me burn a copy? please? you're the best, i know). i'm (re)discovering more and more good bands of late. somehow the songs that become pop are usually the more crappy of the lot.
went out last night with the sonny gang despite being somewhat reluctant (as i have become to going out recently). earlier in the afternoon hian liang called to attempt to organise a youth group outing to use the free movie tickets, which expire next week. futile, of course.
but then bryan called, to initially watch a movie which changed to a kopitiam outing to a wala wala outing to a 2am soccer outing together with jon and kerby. it's like, shit. it's times like these when you know that you don't really have a choice. but it's just this friendship between us that is really something worth treasuring.
a hilarious scene occured at wala wala. we sat down, and after a moment we decided to order 3 cokes, a coffee and a peperoni pizza. the waitress was pretty stunned - she gave us this really blank stare. it would be a little hard to blame her anyway, 4 guys ordering food and non alcoholic drinks at a pub. every other single table had at least a jug on it (and who the hell orders $40 worth of coca cola!?)
the big outfield trip starts this tuesday. all the way till friday. hopefully this will be the last stretch before ndp comes (my coy is doing security and goody bags, apparently). then things can finally settle down. well, not really, but almost.
downloaded some songs. namely, lifehouse's 'better luck next time' and 'blind'. the guitar is terrific... probably leaves me no choice but to buy the cd (unless someone can help me burn a copy? please? you're the best, i know). i'm (re)discovering more and more good bands of late. somehow the songs that become pop are usually the more crappy of the lot.
went out last night with the sonny gang despite being somewhat reluctant (as i have become to going out recently). earlier in the afternoon hian liang called to attempt to organise a youth group outing to use the free movie tickets, which expire next week. futile, of course.
but then bryan called, to initially watch a movie which changed to a kopitiam outing to a wala wala outing to a 2am soccer outing together with jon and kerby. it's like, shit. it's times like these when you know that you don't really have a choice. but it's just this friendship between us that is really something worth treasuring.
a hilarious scene occured at wala wala. we sat down, and after a moment we decided to order 3 cokes, a coffee and a peperoni pizza. the waitress was pretty stunned - she gave us this really blank stare. it would be a little hard to blame her anyway, 4 guys ordering food and non alcoholic drinks at a pub. every other single table had at least a jug on it (and who the hell orders $40 worth of coca cola!?)
the big outfield trip starts this tuesday. all the way till friday. hopefully this will be the last stretch before ndp comes (my coy is doing security and goody bags, apparently). then things can finally settle down. well, not really, but almost.
always
23 April 2005
did you rise the sun for me?
or paint a million stars that i might
know your majesty?
is your voice upon the wind?
is everything i've known marked
with my maker's fingerprints?
breathe on me
let me see Your face
ever i will seek You
can i feel you in the rain?
abandon all i am to have you
capture me again
let the earth resound with praise
can you hear as all creation lives
to glorify one name?
or paint a million stars that i might
know your majesty?
is your voice upon the wind?
is everything i've known marked
with my maker's fingerprints?
breathe on me
let me see Your face
ever i will seek You
cause all you are, is all i want, always
draw me close in your arms
oh god, i wanna be with you
draw me close in your arms
oh god, i wanna be with you
can i feel you in the rain?
abandon all i am to have you
capture me again
let the earth resound with praise
can you hear as all creation lives
to glorify one name?
i am a premium person, really
jonathan foer's book is probably one of the funniest yet saddest books i've ever read. thankfully it's more funny than sad.
my purpose driven programme has sort of stalled. it was supposed to be 'purpose driven life in 40 days' but my edition reads more like, 3 months.
was supposed to go for church jam yesterday, because the 1st keys workship was cancelled due to poor attendance. i think the team needs a workshop on how to fully utilize the 2nd keys (the keyboard synth). the triton has loads of effects and features just waiting to be used, and i think the effects on it are even better than the podxt guitar effects box that i use. but anyway chris, the fellow who usually unlocks the rooms in acs didn't turn up so we ended up chilling (not really) at holland v's coffee club.
fudge brownie with ice cream :) is nice. but i was sooooo sleepy (lazy, perhaps) that i just started stoning there. paul introduced me to a few tuck and patti songs (mental note - get tuck and patti songs. there was another few songs someone reccomended but ARGH can't remember them anymore)
i have a room but it feels as if i don't. not at home, anyway. because i sleep in a different room/position every night. some days it's in my room (the one that's supposed to be my room) and some days i sleep in the study (the one that was my room) and some days i fall alseep in front of the computer and some days i don't sleep at all. i have a toilet attached to my room (the real one) but there are no toiletries in there so i use the toilet attached to the study (my old room) because that's where everything is.
you know, i could move eerything to one place (but i'm just plain too damn lazy).
dropped jazz guitar for the time being. i used to play rock (after i played metal, which is a disgrace to music) before checking jazz and pop genres out but now i can't play either. so i'll have to start learning guitar all over again. current song for the time being is 'alive' by pearl jam. the solo sounds simple enough (read: playable) and the singing is monotonous enough for me to actually sustain throughout the song (my singing absolutely kicks ass).
oh and jamie cullum almost wanted to make me start practicing piano again (because i get a kick out of you). but, NAHH...
my purpose driven programme has sort of stalled. it was supposed to be 'purpose driven life in 40 days' but my edition reads more like, 3 months.
was supposed to go for church jam yesterday, because the 1st keys workship was cancelled due to poor attendance. i think the team needs a workshop on how to fully utilize the 2nd keys (the keyboard synth). the triton has loads of effects and features just waiting to be used, and i think the effects on it are even better than the podxt guitar effects box that i use. but anyway chris, the fellow who usually unlocks the rooms in acs didn't turn up so we ended up chilling (not really) at holland v's coffee club.
fudge brownie with ice cream :) is nice. but i was sooooo sleepy (lazy, perhaps) that i just started stoning there. paul introduced me to a few tuck and patti songs (mental note - get tuck and patti songs. there was another few songs someone reccomended but ARGH can't remember them anymore)
i have a room but it feels as if i don't. not at home, anyway. because i sleep in a different room/position every night. some days it's in my room (the one that's supposed to be my room) and some days i sleep in the study (the one that was my room) and some days i fall alseep in front of the computer and some days i don't sleep at all. i have a toilet attached to my room (the real one) but there are no toiletries in there so i use the toilet attached to the study (my old room) because that's where everything is.
you know, i could move eerything to one place (but i'm just plain too damn lazy).
dropped jazz guitar for the time being. i used to play rock (after i played metal, which is a disgrace to music) before checking jazz and pop genres out but now i can't play either. so i'll have to start learning guitar all over again. current song for the time being is 'alive' by pearl jam. the solo sounds simple enough (read: playable) and the singing is monotonous enough for me to actually sustain throughout the song (my singing absolutely kicks ass).
oh and jamie cullum almost wanted to make me start practicing piano again (because i get a kick out of you). but, NAHH...
a young boy and a helmet
21 April 2005
that's how someone looks like after bashing around semi lost in e jungle next to upper thomson road and stoning in a spot for an hour. outfield really sucks. yes, i'll probably repeat that everyday for the rest of my life.
i couldn't be more proud of our army. gee it's sad to say OUR army. from the very beginning of e exercise it's been screw up after screw up for two days in a row. even my mom is more efficient.
did some other screwed up stuff. smoking is bad. no, i didn't really. so it's not counted? who cares la.
christine says that i put myself down too much. (she should really quit smoking though. yes you read that again!)
had a super weird dream. about being in grand hyatt in san francisco (is there even one there? probably) and forgetting my room number when i wanted to order room service. i mean, wth?
tired
19 April 2005
tuesday 5.47am
going to the jungle for one and a half days later this morning to dig holes and run around like squirrels.
so fun
i'm perpetually sleepy nowadays
oh and yes, jonathan safran foer's 'everything is illuminated' really is quite nice to read. :)
time for breakfast
going to the jungle for one and a half days later this morning to dig holes and run around like squirrels.
so fun
i'm perpetually sleepy nowadays
oh and yes, jonathan safran foer's 'everything is illuminated' really is quite nice to read. :)
time for breakfast
18 April 2005
5.47am at home. going back to camp.
soo damn tired
but some things have been settled. so that's ok.
waiting for the bus services to start. never thought i'd be able to say something like that in my whole life. waiting for the bus services to start.
another week passes by.
soo damn tired
but some things have been settled. so that's ok.
waiting for the bus services to start. never thought i'd be able to say something like that in my whole life. waiting for the bus services to start.
another week passes by.
life
the past week's been so crappy. the only thing remotely enjoyable was seeing chris after months of army and busy school agendas.
today's eguit playing was quite bad- i can't really get a feel of these songs. luckily nobody could hear any of it.
went to church with loads of issues on my mind. some small, some big, all affecting. i hate outfield with a passion, and it doesn't help that there's tons to come for the battalion. it's weeks after weeks and when it seems like there's nothing there's always something. saf doesn't pay servicemen for nothing i guess, rather they make every cent worth it for themselves.
i was thinking just now whether to just blow it all off with a pack of ciggs. after a couple of sticks i'd be too slowmo to think of anything like this anyway. but fortunately god's helping in at least that way. self control. but at the same time it's frustrating how i want to believe in something yet don't have the true confidence. and not just 'oh pray read your bible have a purpose driven mind' that's so easy to say but when can one really swear by all of that?
relationships are problematic. people do think feel stupid things. that's how it's like when someone likes someone else. when you just assume things to be the way or not the way you want it to be. or worse when you just don't know how you want it to be. and it hurts. just shoot me.
so many people's relatives and friends (strangers on the road outside camp) have passed away recently. I don't know whether to be happy or sorry for them. as for me, i'm dying too.
Got a new book from kino. Apparently someone's directing a movie based on the book, after a quick search on yahoo. I have a thing against moviebooks, or booksbecomingmovies. I like to think that movies should stay as movies - on the screen and visual.
Late for church. I'm playing eguit today (wayne's on acoustic). Hope I don't screw it up, 'cause i don 't really know what to play.
Late for church. I'm playing eguit today (wayne's on acoustic). Hope I don't screw it up, 'cause i don 't really know what to play.
drained
16 April 2005
it's quite unbelievable how tired i actually am now. just got back from a surprisingly peaceful session (despite seemingly also out of place and redundant) with the charlie commanders. while it was supposed to end at 10pm, some dragged it on till 10.20pm and there went the 10.15pm shuttle bus to pasir ris mrt.
i was soooo tired on the train i practically fell dead asleep after reading rick warren. it's a bit ridiculous that after 3 months i'm still at chapter 37 (which i've read THREE times) but hopefully today i sort of finally remember it. the past two times i tried, i fell asleep. the way i read it though, is that i don't go to the next chapter until i can remember exactly what the previous chapter was about; that way at least i ensure that some of it goes into my little head.
woke up and saw this really old man standing in front of me and being the kind hearted soul that i am, i immediately got up to offer my seat. but i was sooooo super sleepy that i ended up tumbling around the middle of the car. i suppose the man figured i really needed some seated rest, so he refused to accept my seat. the feeling is quite du lan, ya when you actually offer something but they say no. heh but i was soooo sleepy so i promptly sat down and fell asleep again.
going to sim lim tomorrow to buy a dvd drive for the computer. sounds so geeky!!! i don't even know how to install them into the computer but i guess i'll figure it out once i get it.
have to wake up at 5.30am tomorrow morning, to get back to camp for an alert red inspection. army's such a chore.
smartypants christine asked me to watch a movie - any movie - with her tomorrow night. usually i'd look forward to these things (because anything out of camp and out of the house is something to look forward to) but now i just feel like staying home and being anti social. haha but since i'll have someone to accompany me i'll probably go and eat something really nice. it's becoming a trend in my vocab - food therapy. heh.
sometimes people wait for an answer for so long, they wonder where the other party actually remembered anything at all about it. well life is really all about tests after all, isn't it...
heh now i'm rambling and rambling
i was soooo tired on the train i practically fell dead asleep after reading rick warren. it's a bit ridiculous that after 3 months i'm still at chapter 37 (which i've read THREE times) but hopefully today i sort of finally remember it. the past two times i tried, i fell asleep. the way i read it though, is that i don't go to the next chapter until i can remember exactly what the previous chapter was about; that way at least i ensure that some of it goes into my little head.
woke up and saw this really old man standing in front of me and being the kind hearted soul that i am, i immediately got up to offer my seat. but i was sooooo super sleepy that i ended up tumbling around the middle of the car. i suppose the man figured i really needed some seated rest, so he refused to accept my seat. the feeling is quite du lan, ya when you actually offer something but they say no. heh but i was soooo sleepy so i promptly sat down and fell asleep again.
going to sim lim tomorrow to buy a dvd drive for the computer. sounds so geeky!!! i don't even know how to install them into the computer but i guess i'll figure it out once i get it.
have to wake up at 5.30am tomorrow morning, to get back to camp for an alert red inspection. army's such a chore.
smartypants christine asked me to watch a movie - any movie - with her tomorrow night. usually i'd look forward to these things (because anything out of camp and out of the house is something to look forward to) but now i just feel like staying home and being anti social. haha but since i'll have someone to accompany me i'll probably go and eat something really nice. it's becoming a trend in my vocab - food therapy. heh.
sometimes people wait for an answer for so long, they wonder where the other party actually remembered anything at all about it. well life is really all about tests after all, isn't it...
heh now i'm rambling and rambling
forgot about dinner
11 April 2005
today wasn't really eventful... until i FORGOT about dinner. that's how stupid, right? surfing the net, monday morning book in, there's always the maid to cook dinner... maybe not. so after some digging in the back fridge (i have two refrigerators; one in the main kitchen and one in a so called 'open air' kitchen) and coming up with nothing but minced pork/chicken, i sort of decided that i needed something nicer to eat. minced crap reminds me of army cookhouse crap, which is incidentally, really crappy.
skate scootered (ridiculous) to coronation ntuc, but they didn't have the right stuff. so i took a bus (!!!) down to sixth ave's cold storage gourmet and bought a whole lot of stuff. kinda busted the $10 budget - ended up paying $21 not including the $3 cab home. hey, skatescooting 3km is kinda tiring ok...
buttered mushrooms with danish blue cheese on asparagus (looks quite gross in the picture but surprisingly was super nice), mussels in wine and bruschetta in which i became kinda lazy and didnt bother much about the bread. lack of any academia of late has decreased my intellectual capacity considerably. while checking the net for recipes, i typed mussels as 'muscles' and wondered high low why all i got were bioscience and nutrition websites. that's just retarded.
topped it off with a beer (but preceded with a coke). usually a fag would fit in here nicely but i've supposed to have quit a long time ago (and i did) so nah.
ladies and gentlemen, essentially this is called - food therapy.
skate scootered (ridiculous) to coronation ntuc, but they didn't have the right stuff. so i took a bus (!!!) down to sixth ave's cold storage gourmet and bought a whole lot of stuff. kinda busted the $10 budget - ended up paying $21 not including the $3 cab home. hey, skatescooting 3km is kinda tiring ok...
buttered mushrooms with danish blue cheese on asparagus (looks quite gross in the picture but surprisingly was super nice), mussels in wine and bruschetta in which i became kinda lazy and didnt bother much about the bread. lack of any academia of late has decreased my intellectual capacity considerably. while checking the net for recipes, i typed mussels as 'muscles' and wondered high low why all i got were bioscience and nutrition websites. that's just retarded.
topped it off with a beer (but preceded with a coke). usually a fag would fit in here nicely but i've supposed to have quit a long time ago (and i did) so nah.
ladies and gentlemen, essentially this is called - food therapy.
:
7 April 2005
what may seem like an outrageous act of indecency but really is just the single biggest most disgusting-est pimple in the whole of experience of one's being.รข€©YUCKS
so i thought
while talking to jiayi i found a whacked up light stick packet in my locker. after opening it i thought it looked so screwed up and wasn't working anymore, so i decided to break it. hey ho, it actually worked! but too late now. now i feel quite dumb, it's akin to blowing a bomb to see if it's working- kinda defeats the purpose.
still felt quite nauseas today so spent pretty much the ENTIRE DAY sleeping. so much so that i was pretty grumpy and blur. and you know how it is when you have so much time on your hands, it's easy to just let your mind wander and think about literally all sorts of things.
just have been so distracted by a certain topic the whole day. it's getting on my nerves too tho it really shouldn't.
just waiting on an angel. to come and carry me home
back to camp
5 April 2005
sometimes i think i'd rather be sick and on the verge of dying than going back camp. nowadays, at least.
*
Come and see
I swear by now I’m playing time
I against my troubles
I’m coming slow but speeding
Do you wish a dance and while i’m
In the front
The play on time is won
But the difficulty is coming here
I will go in this way
And find my own way out
I wont tell you to stay
But I'm coming to much more
Me
All at once the ghosts come back
Reeling in you now
What if they came down crushing
Remember when I used to play for
All of the loneliness that nobody
Notice now
I'm begging slow I’m coming here
Only waiting I wanted to stay
I wanted to play
I wanted to love you
I'm only this far
And only tomorrow leads my way
I'm coming waltzing back and moving into your head
Please, I wouldnt pass this by
I would take any more than
What sort of man goes by
I will bring water
Why wont you ever be glad
It melts into wonder
I came in praying for you
Why wont you run
In the rain and play
Let the tears splash all over you
I swear by now I’m playing time
I against my troubles
I’m coming slow but speeding
Do you wish a dance and while i’m
In the front
The play on time is won
But the difficulty is coming here
I will go in this way
And find my own way out
I wont tell you to stay
But I'm coming to much more
Me
All at once the ghosts come back
Reeling in you now
What if they came down crushing
Remember when I used to play for
All of the loneliness that nobody
Notice now
I'm begging slow I’m coming here
Only waiting I wanted to stay
I wanted to play
I wanted to love you
I'm only this far
And only tomorrow leads my way
I'm coming waltzing back and moving into your head
Please, I wouldnt pass this by
I would take any more than
What sort of man goes by
I will bring water
Why wont you ever be glad
It melts into wonder
I came in praying for you
Why wont you run
In the rain and play
Let the tears splash all over you
ex girlfriends
its a really funny experience to talk them about current affairs. because the rift is always there and everyone's so conscious of everything they say.
its a sadistic funny. heh
now she's slamming me because she says that i tell people stupid, mean things.
probably because all the guys i know are like that, and they all take it lightly. even my australian classmates (the girls).
it's nice to know tho that despite this incredibly huge rift between us (chris the ex boyfriend) she still can give me the most applicable words, that she still knows me for who i am.
its a sadistic funny. heh
now she's slamming me because she says that i tell people stupid, mean things.
burdgeoning cacophany says:
i remembered i was damn pissed with you when you did that all the time
probably because all the guys i know are like that, and they all take it lightly. even my australian classmates (the girls).
it's nice to know tho that despite this incredibly huge rift between us (chris the ex boyfriend) she still can give me the most applicable words, that she still knows me for who i am.
issues
4 April 2005
blogs are meant for times when you just can't get the things you want to say to be said. and even then just typing it out can be hard enough, because i don't really think about it. or want to think about it.
please tell me why i'm so stupidly stubborn. maybe you should just tell me in the face, yes maybe when you do that i might listen. instead of pretending.
no, i just pretend nothing's wrong and let the days and months pass by. but inevitably a day will come again and again and and yet again and nothing is ever resolved. days like today. and some way you're just killing me slowly but i'm stupidly stubborn and i'd never admit it.
stupidly stubborn, so i'll just sit here and wait.
please tell me why i'm so stupidly stubborn. maybe you should just tell me in the face, yes maybe when you do that i might listen. instead of pretending.
no, i just pretend nothing's wrong and let the days and months pass by. but inevitably a day will come again and again and and yet again and nothing is ever resolved. days like today. and some way you're just killing me slowly but i'm stupidly stubborn and i'd never admit it.
stupidly stubborn, so i'll just sit here and wait.
3 April 2005
food poisoning sucks... gonna see the doctor, can't take it heh. self medication isn't really good if you're 'just guessing' that it's the right pills...
i'm wondering what the church youth camp people are thinking. have this dreadful feeling that they think i chao kenged to get out of the sentosa recce, ailene was going on and on about it. sigh.
i'm wondering what the church youth camp people are thinking. have this dreadful feeling that they think i chao kenged to get out of the sentosa recce, ailene was going on and on about it. sigh.
2 April 2005
had a run yesterday. this so pathetic; i only ran for 4km and not really exactly very fast but my legs are all stiff today. it's not like i didn't do any stretching.
might be the walking too. walked a whole lot, took a whole lot of busses/taxis because of my company's cohesion day amazing race thing (we won, from the bottom up).
had dinner at crystal jade with sarah. sigh it wasn't that good but she thought it's nice so ok lah. even kerby says it's pretty crappy standard for crystal jade. but this outlet just opened, perhaps after a couple of months it'll become better. the branch at scotts and taka is really quite a lot better! and it was a bit silly but i ordered almost the exact same stuff again (because it was so nice previously hehe).
oh i think my money saving plan sort of failed in a weekend.
crystal jade cost $30, the taxis cost $20, and the jug of hoegaarden (obligated because i made bryan chan REALLY pissed) cost $45. sigh i felt quite bad but i really didn't wanna go all the way to chijmes just to drink beer for an hour. and smoking heh i tried a bit (not really tried, just lit one for some idiot hehe) and i almost died. don't smoke it's bad.
but bryan was sorta pissed because he had a Bad Day and kerby said that he hates crowded noisy places. and wala wala was REALLY extremely crowded and noisy. sigh just treated the beer lah for being such a mean bastard :(
limewire's driving me nuts. look at how insanely slow the download is. it used to be something like, 40kb/s! now i have to wait for hours to get a single song. it's a sign... that downloading is bad... heh whatever man.
might be the walking too. walked a whole lot, took a whole lot of busses/taxis because of my company's cohesion day amazing race thing (we won, from the bottom up).
had dinner at crystal jade with sarah. sigh it wasn't that good but she thought it's nice so ok lah. even kerby says it's pretty crappy standard for crystal jade. but this outlet just opened, perhaps after a couple of months it'll become better. the branch at scotts and taka is really quite a lot better! and it was a bit silly but i ordered almost the exact same stuff again (because it was so nice previously hehe).
oh i think my money saving plan sort of failed in a weekend.
crystal jade cost $30, the taxis cost $20, and the jug of hoegaarden (obligated because i made bryan chan REALLY pissed) cost $45. sigh i felt quite bad but i really didn't wanna go all the way to chijmes just to drink beer for an hour. and smoking heh i tried a bit (not really tried, just lit one for some idiot hehe) and i almost died. don't smoke it's bad.
but bryan was sorta pissed because he had a Bad Day and kerby said that he hates crowded noisy places. and wala wala was REALLY extremely crowded and noisy. sigh just treated the beer lah for being such a mean bastard :(
limewire's driving me nuts. look at how insanely slow the download is. it used to be something like, 40kb/s! now i have to wait for hours to get a single song. it's a sign... that downloading is bad... heh whatever man.
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