everything in
it's right place

As virtuous men passe mildly away,
And whisper to their soules, to goe,
Whilst some of their sad friends doe say,
The breath goes now, and some say, no:

So let us melt, and make no noise,
No teare-floods, nor sigh-tempests move,
T'were prophanation of our joyes
To tell the layetie our love.

Moving of th'earth brings harmes and feares,
Men reckon what it did and meant,
But trepidation of the spheares,
Though greater farre, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers love
(Whose soule is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.

But we by a love, so much refin'd.
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care lesse, eyes, lips, and hands to misse.

Our two soules therefore, which are one,
Though I must goe, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to ayery thinnesse beate.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiffe twin compasses are two,
Thy soule the fixt foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if the'other doe.

And though it in the center sit,
Yet when the other far doth rome,
It leanes, and hearkens after it,
And growes erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to mee, who must
Like th'other foot, obliquely runne;
Thy firmnes drawes my circle just,
And makes me end, where I begunne.

It's been eons since I've last updated. Just never bothered with this blog since coming back to singapore. However I just got hold of a copy of this new recording software, and it's pretty cool. It's called the Ableton Live, and finally it's something user friendly enough for me to actually record something.

Somehow setting up that soundclick website seems harder than navigating through the music software. The guitars are recording through my PODxt Live, the bass and drums using MIDI.

Go listen to it, quick. Then write me some lyrics. Thanks :)

chemistry exam in 2 hours. somehow it seems like i just learnt the entire semester two syllabus for the first time yesterday... kinda screwed :/ but who cares, last exam and i'm going home!

GOING HOME!!!

a few things to look forward to... good food, big house, big tv, good friends, hot weather, sweat, rude ah sohs, air con, laggy internet, OMG CHEAP EVERYTHING FOR ONCE, laksa, oyster omellette, rojak, meesiam, milo bing, teh-o, ipoh hor fun, popiah, prata, dota, waiting for knn bus 174, sitting in a taxi more than once a month, char kway teow, kway chap, new paper, meepok, chai tao kuay, chee cheong fan, mambo, chicken rice, mee rebus...

argh chemistry exam!!

havent been blogging at all. had no muse/ found no time to write down anything significant that's been happening. ok heh nah, that's just an excuse. been studying a lot lately, more than usual (which is good, hopefully). but i bet the exams are going to be so much harder too, so i am quite worried. except for squash, my fitness is really going out the window (i ran 3k the other day... it was tiring!). and social life, what's that?

my life is a clumsy routine of waking up late, going to school, finding people to have lunch with, playing WoW, studying, dinner with mom, studying, studying, studying, oh did i say studying? and watching futurama (which is ohmagawdz the best cartoon ever).


i was thinking about you yesterday too. just felt a tad bit guilty that i've been taking ages to reply your email. haha. oops. blame the exams. yeah, stupid exams!

was expecting some junk mail from a certain website on my hotmail account, but surprisingly it has not arrived yet. so i decided to idle around a bit, and wowwwwww i didnt know i had so much nonsense in my hotmail account already. and some funny/weird emails.

in sec2 i actually emailed a lot of random people, like this scgs girl (I think?) who told me her name was yipidoo. ehmms. i didn't even know her, don't ask me how i ended up emailing her. cuz we wasted about 150 emails talking abt idle chat.

from: yupidoo
subject: ...
date: july 23 2000

ey gay person..
better not mistake what i'm saying..
i'm implying that u're a very happy person..
rite?
anyway, what's jiang hua yu kind?
weird stuff u talk about..haha..
yah, i should think that we have the same birthdays..
so damn unlucky!!
how was the chat with ur friend?
was it fun?
hope u have a really great time being molested..
bye!
ha
ha
ha
from me haha..16!! yea!!

imagine 150 emails of totally un-serious chat. lol, i could've done better for my exams that year :/




i even made a folder for nikkichankahyoke. haha. gah. but it some fit of depression (it must've been) i probably deleted all of her emails. because the folder is blank now. oh well, and i thought i could boost my ego by reading emails about how great i am (i wish haha). kinda wished i still knew who she was.


bah my stomach feels like it's going to explode. need more alcohol!! going to tim's place tonight, hope i get pissed. cya

studying really sucks. exams are starting in one month too. i think i'd rather do anything than studying. cleaning the house. buying groceries. other sai kang. but studying... such an irritating necessity.

my eyes feel like they're gouging themselves out. grrrrrrr.

i was thinking

do you ever think why
you feel like you'd not like a person at all
at all
but still you think about them all the time
that it just goes against your character
they're stuck in your head
is that even called love?

i miss you
but it's all not very intuitive to me.





no i'm not having fag thoughts
just being very incoherent

i'm in the library now. my new home. haha :/ studying for bio mid-semester test, which is tomorrow. i have to study in the library, because being at home with my mom irks me. not the best attitude to have, but it gets on me so much that i can't even have a minute of concentration.

i sleep annoyed, i wake up annoyed. i even had a dream about army last night; that's how pissed i was. something about oversleeping guard duty, and wanting to go to the docs to get an MC but my dad wouldn't allow me ('who do you think i am, an MC vending machine?! go protect your country!' zzz).

my friend's aren't really turning up for school nowadays, have been sitting with charmaine and terrence most of them time. which isn't that bad, because she usually knows her work pretty well (unlike me). really trying to catch up on the studying, and many people agree (oops). after chem test, sze yin actually said 'chris... do you know anything at all...' (lol, actually not much).

so here i am... alone, mugging away in the library, escaping from my ever-nagging mom, doodling away on library-rented laptops.

i also realised that personalised crumplers are soooooo nice. so i'm going to get one.

it would be nicer if someone got one for me though. haha.



ok lost my muse, back to mugging. away in the library. alone. secretly. but not-so-secretly anymore. peacefully. no mom. no WoW. no bed. just books :/

BOOKS!

my mom is here

and she nags so much

even though she thinks she doesn't

she infringes on my bubble

and it drives me

MAD



i'm going to camp in school all day tomorrow, so no one can say that i'm not studying or that i play or slack too much. i used to stay home to be alone all the time, now i have to go out to be alone! argh!

woke up today and jumped when i looked at my alarm clock: 9.30am! oh wtf, don't tell me i missed math lecture again?!

then i realised, damn, it's actually saturday.

i hateeeee school!

haven't been blogging for a really long time; it seems that i've just lost the muse for it. to think of it, i've lost a lot of things. i've been in a world of my own lately, totally disillusioned yet partly satisfied.

haven't really been keen on going to school at all, the thought of actually studying puts me off completely. yes, that's a really bad lane to go down but i just can't keep myself very much interested in it. school work has surprisingly been ok, and i actually managed to scrape through the last physics test (thanks to clever copying).

a lot of other thoughts have occupied itself where they don't belong. it's amazing how i can totally twist reality into a dream, sometimes even a nightmare. i miss a few people, some so near and others so far, but all of them in a world completely lost to me. it feels terrible when someone you thought you knew isn't the someone you know anymore. when you really want to talk to someone, but you know the words just refuse to flow.

something's missing in my life, and in that hole i replaced it with my dreams and illusions. however dreams are just that, and when they disappear in a puff of smoke all that's left is a cold, black hole.

i'm living in my own bubble. escapism works wonders on the empty soul.


this post sounds pretty pathetic.

drivin' faster in my car
falling farther from just what we are
smoke a cigarette and lie some more
these conversations kill
falling faster in my car

time to take her home
her dizzy head is conscience laden
time to take a ride
it leaves today no conversation
time to take her home
her dizzy head is conscience laden
time to wait too long
to wait too long
these conversations kill

to much walkin', shoes worn thin
too much trippin' and my soul's worn thin
time to catch a ride
it leaves today, her name is what it means
to much walkin', shoe's worn thin

This blog is dying, pretty much. Gah.

I don't know why people come to me with all the love problems, as if I have the solutions to all of them. Truth is, I don't even have the answers to mine.

i don't know whether to feel happy or sad. things probably turned out far from what i actually thought it would be a few months back.

sigh.

how come everytime there's someone's birthday, our cell group always has to do communion... :/ lol

Ok, so I haven't been blogging much at all for the past, say 2 weeks? Or one month. Main reason is because I've been playing computer games :( Haha, but I finally got my character to level 60 (which is the highest level) and realised that all the time spent on that dumb game was pretty much wasted. So I've decided to dedicate this week (ok fine, and the weeks to come) to more productive activities. Studying! Haha, and practicing my guitar.

Church music team meeting this week; some sort of first-timers get together session. Hope it isn't too bad. My guitar playing is absolute shit right now. So is the condition of the guitar itself haha. Strings all rusty, switch STILL broken -thanks wayne ;) - and exercise! Crap, my stamina is almost zero. Was super super super tired after playing squash the other day. Ironically, I won most of the matches. Usually I have lots more stamina, and lose all the matches! Don't know which is better...

House is in a mess: wrinkled clothes in the dryer, unwashed clothes in the washing machine (can't wash because there's clothes in the dryer); carpet fluff all over the floor, kitchen which smells of chicken stew, newspaper ALL OVER THE PLACE, perpetually messy bedroom. I really should take a picture. Times like these that I miss my mom, my family. Nice home, nice food, nice people. Nowhere like home, right?

Waiting. Waiting in anticipation. The number one most tiring thing to possibly do. Wait till May, now just wait till August. Wait a year, maybe two? Oh, now you say it's three. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm waiting for, let alone why.

Are feelings really worth that much. I always thought it was, but I'm steadily changing my mind. Don't know if that's good... experience guides your actions though.

June. Yep, I'll just stop after June. No point killing myself over nothing, right. Oh by the way, I'm booking my flight for June 20th midnight with Lisa. Hope she doesn't oversleep the flight... otherwise I'll have to take a taxi to the airport alone :( Haha sorry :P



Played guitar for cell group today. It was really bad :( I didn't even practice at all, and my guitar skills are really poor too. Can't keep in time for some of the songs, and Diana has really weird ways of playing the piano (oops). So swong was going all gan cheong spider and freaking out. But how to practice, with all the WoW action happening nowadays. Sighhhhhhh haha. Too much computer games = bad x100000

Studying about butterflies now. WTF right. I have to give a presentation on tuesday about thin-film interference, in other words, how butterflies/ducks/etc get their pretty iridescent wings. Andddd my group partner's a total... moron? Sounds like an apt word to use, however she's really smart academic-wise. Such a total clash of personalities... drives me nuts.

I hate physics. ARGH.

Gonna make a cup of coffee, for stress relief. Haha, ok no. I just like coffee. Mmmmm :)

Hmm, I think I've been slacking way too much recently. Here's my usual routine:

-Wake up late (oops!)
-Rush to lectures, only to find out that everybody ponned it because it was useless.
-Go home and watch tv, cook, or surf the 'net
-Feel sleepy, sleep.
-Wake up, play WoW, get a few levels.
-Crash someone's house, shopping, play squash, something random always happens here
-Chat around on MSN, oops it's 2am!
-Go back to sleep
-Rinse and repeat

So today, I decided to correct my troubling habits, a change for the better, one could say. YAH RIGHT. My head went 'Hmm, let's do some major work/study'. Tried to print out tute problems for the current chapters that we're supposed to be studying, but heh printer didn't work. Oh well, I'll get Lisa to print it out tommorow. After all, I got H1s for all my mid-semester tests! Yeah, that's short for 1st class honours. Good on ya, right? I think it's going downhill from here. Hahahaha. Sigh.

Oops. I just spent 1hr thinking of where to start at, studying-wise. And blew most of it right here on blogger. WTF.



Now, back to fixing that damn printer...

I'm sick. Ok, I don't have a thermometer. And neither do my mates upstairs AND downstairs. Yeah what the hell right, I mean they've been here for 3 years, and they don't have a thermometer! I guess they don't get sick as often as I do. But I sure do feel sick. sore throat, hot-ish, overall shit feeling, you know the whole deal.

Cooked dinner. Hehe, food therapy works pretty well. Grilled chicken in some weird concoction of red wine vinegar, mirin wine, sesame oil, honey and black pepper. Yes, I said it was weird!!! But tasted pretty good. With grilled pumpkin and antipasto. Seems like I've been eating the same thing everyday tho. Hahaha, or variations thereof. Bah..

Haven't really been posting much at all. This blog is slowly rotting. I initially wanted to change the template, because this one looks kinda generic and boring. but MEH! Kinda lost my creative muse after I actually started thinking about it. So no more update. Heh

The sore throat feels shit. Maybe it's the coffee. I've been drinking lots and lots and lots of coffee!! Yeah, maybe it is the coffee. With lattes, I can pour the foam to form a tree, a squiggle, a twig, a mushroom, nothing much that looks remotely artistic tho. I've been trying to pour a heart for AGES. Almost did one the other day but ARGH. Maybe a few hundred coffees more... maybe.

Ok, I really don't have the mood for this anymore. BYE!

i really need to update :) was thinking of change the blog template but... meh.

off to church!

so i've been drinking lots of coffee/hot chocolates lately, trying to draw out patterns in my beverages. so far i've had some moderate success so far. looks pretty AND tastes good at the same time :)

the first one was pretty sucky, but look at the second one! and the third one. soon i'll be drawing all sorts of nonsense. haha.

and the days grow longer. really long :(


:( :( :(

had some really nice food today. went to a posh restaurant in st kilda in a hotel called 'circa de prince' or something like that. was soo full. and then bought a nice painting! a bit abstract-ish. initially was going to post a picture of it up here, but now i'm just too lazy.

dinner was even more spectecular. a fusion restaurant, lots of spices and herbs in it. also another posh restaurant, but surprisingly, relatively empty. later found out the reason for that; tonight was the closing cermony of the commonwealth games! and my mom and i couldn't imagine our fantastic luck - just as we got off the tram, the fireworks parade began. and only then did i notice the sea of people surrounding the yarra river. was really great, the whole river being lined with fireworks. made quite a pleasent end to an entire day of eating.

it did manage to draw a minute drop of happiness to my otherwise rather pathetically depressing weekend.

sigh.

skipped the usual squash social night this thursday evening, and went for dota with sean and his friends instead. and they kept offering me all sorts of fags haha but i'm still trying to keep my rule of no more smoking. and my mom's here too anyway. but they had chocolate flavoured ones... lol looked quite... nice...

anyway the dota was bad. really bad. i've never played such a bad session of dota before. maybe it was because they were really good, or i was really lousy, or some combination of both. i only managed a few kills and i died sooooo many times. now i know how bryanchan used to feel hahaha. only now that i'm so much worse!

i think i'll stick to squash, at least i can win once in a while...

friday tomorrow! tgif, ya? everyone knows what the weekend means - a time to catch up on studies. sighhhh :/

for the past few weeks i've been really interested in coffee. mainly because the coffee here is so much better than whatever is available back in singapore - coffee culture is up and alive down in australia. so a few weeks back i got a moka pot, you know, one of those stove top pots? but the coffee certainly wasn't good for me, i'm really fussy! anyway because i'm such an impulse shopper, and a good con man too, i managed to persuade my mom to split the cost of an espresso machine with me. so i only have to pay her $90! quite a good deal :)

and i've been drinking so much coffee nowadays i'm going mad. hahaha but it's shiooookkkk.

been playing quite a bit of squash too. cera (the girl in the pic above) is one of my squash partners. lol she wins about 70% of the games (sigh!!!!) but she's been playing for 2 years so it doesn't count. but still... damn maluation. anyway the coach from the sports club said i improved heaps since two weeks ago. haha yay!

3 months till i'm back in singapore :) damn, i miss that place. especially you :P oh and dota too :( can't play dota on battlenet with my current connection. weird. hehhh

just finished studying a whole weeks worth of biology. kinda crazy to learn all these things when i haven't even read a page of it before coming to melbourne uni.

anyway after 4 hours i couldn't really concentrate so i resorted to playing dota ai!!!! ahh luckily i still got my computer genius skills in me and inevitably won. but my mom came out halfway through the game (ya.. she's still here with me) and said 'i thought you were studying??'. and HELLO DUH I WAS STUDYING FOR 4 FREAKING HOURS. so i just told her how blur and siao she was and how she should just go to sleep now. ahh...

waiting now. it's like middle of the morning :/

and the coffeegeek forums aren't working. my coffee consumption is taking the place of alcohol nowadays... drinking sooo much coffee. i even bought a stove top and a whole array of coffee cups as well. haha. ok fine i also have a shaker, shot glasses, pilsner glasses, low ball glasses and a whole fridge worth of beer. hahaha. i'm waiting for emily's parents to fly in, to bring some vodka and gin :/ sigh i should've bought them from the airport myself.

waiting waiting waiting zzzzz -sleeeeeeepy-

finally, almost done with the first week of school! it's such a strange feeling to suddenly feel locked up in massively crowded rooms, listening to the lecturer drone on about something i barely understand. and actually putting in an effort in keeping awake! i mean, since was the last time i ever put in effort in anything? probably like, 2 years ago.

i really hate physics! it's only the first week but i can see it coming. and to fuel the flames, the lecturer really sucks. she was just running through the slides and examples on the powerpoint. i mean, how would i even read, let alone understand, an example question in 5 seconds?! apparently it's really simple stuff, waves and pulses, but it has so much maths prerequisite knowledge that i've forgotten in the past two years of army. graphs!! arghhhh. i even use the calculator to do sums like 5+9=14. hahaha. sigh.

on the other hand, bio is the most fun! probably still the novelty factor of learning something for the first time. and the lecturer is so funny! quite an irony, since it's the first time i'm doing bio. maths is a breeze, just a bunch of matrices, linear programming and stats work this semester. just unbelievably boring, though.

went to hush bar last night, with the flare (university dance) people. can imagine how embarrasing it was, when all these dance people could dance so pro. and met so many people that i can't remember 3/4 of them now. haha oops.

meeting people! i'm really bad at that. went for squash social night today, which is basically just free squash, but the coach assigns you with diff people each time. met this girl called michelle, but i couldn't remember her name because she doesn't really look like a michelle to me (!!! haha). i even forgot her name halfway throughout a game! sheesh because that happens all the time, and i'm always the one forgetting. and the other person always remembers. oooooops :/

back to squash now, i think i'm probably twice as good as before now. haha learnt quite a lot today. i actually learnt the rules! but i was so bad at numbers that the other guy (from india, forgot his name) just counted the score all the way. hmmm. and i actually did that 'smash the ball against the back and bounch all the way to the front thing'. looked quite tyco though. good for stress relief...

moving house tmr... gonna have an early night. bye

i'm so confused. just completely, utterly lost :(

listen to jack johnson's banana pancakes. because it was raining for the whole day :/ and the rain drops were huge. the splashes on the ground made by the drops were about 8cm? that's just crazy lah. i could actually feel the rain drop on my head like... piakpiakpiak. ok, not the best of descriptions but nevermind.

went with caleb to buy squash raquets and balls in the afternoon. hahaha it was really funny, because both of us were wearing melbourne uni track jackets (it was raining) and the salesman thought we were unimelb squash team players! which is sooo wrong. and turns out that he plays squash, so he kinda talked a whole lot about equipment. ahhh.

anyway after that we headed back to school to play. it's kinda disgraceful how blur the both of us are. i thought the training would start at 5.30pm, but when we went there we found out that it actually closes at 5.30pm. bummer, abd that i even took a 30sec tram ride all the way to school! getting really lazy nowadays.

oh the track jacket was like $5. but it sucks, because the zipper can't zip. but for $5 what do you expect? it's actually surprisingly waterproof though.

school's starting in two days time. kinda hoping it'd start later though. the university expects about 12hrs per subject, and i'm taking 4 subjects. 7 of the 12hrs are lectures, tutorials and lab sessions. so that equates to studying 4 hours a day?! time to switch on the mugging mode :/ and i haven't even gotten my textbooks yet. which also kinda bombed a huge hole in the bank account, i think it was almost $600 for all the books and notes. and the gym membership, which costs another $300. die lah, i think i spent almost a thousand this week.

2am anyway, time to sleeeeep. ok oops my mom just came out to nag. hehh.



i miss you

i'm in melbourne! and i've finally gotten internet access. i actually bought prepaid dialup, because it's kinda hard to live without internet. you only realise how much you miss something when it's finally not around anymore. yeah.

first topic, school! the university's really big and it gets so crowded that it can be pretty annoying sometimes. and the term hasn't even started yet. so far i'm taking 4 subjects: chemistry, biology, physics and biomedical math. which is probably the most totally boring combination EVER in the entire cohort (even biotech has electives like, chinese. but, chinese?!) so i'm really going to die, just die. studying after army is really tough. i mean i can't even wake up! haha woke up at 9.30am today, which was probably e latest. but in the future i'm going to try to wake up at 7am so tt i can go running.

i actually wanted to wake up at 8am to go running today. i even told my parents! haha. but that plan kinda went out the window, because the morning weather is so freaky cold. it's like, 10-15deg in the morning and 25deg at night. and i don't really want to run at night because i'm not really familiar with the surroundings yet. soon tho! haha so much for the so-called 'fitness plan'. i haven't even joined the gym yet!

oh my apartment is directly opposite the university! good stuff, i only have to walk like 5 minutes to reach my classes. i'm currently staying at this place called 'uropa apartments', and hopefully move into another one called 'seasons'. weird names, right!!! i thought ppl usually spells 'uropa' as 'europa'. ok whoever spells 'europa ' anyway?! but the rooms are pretty big, and my parents and i bought furniture already! it'll be coming in two weeks, hehe so i'll post pictures. sort of minimalist styling, black, white and matte metal, with some earthen shades.

quite an awkward change from army. now i actually have to think of what do to, look up e daily activities and lectures instead of just slacking around waiting for ppl to tell me what to do. and i'm feeling so poor :( i'm like e most thrifty person ever in e world haha. esp when i'm not earning my own money, because i don't really like to ask for money from my parents. but i guess now no choice... so sad. one option was to get a job but... nah. hahaha.

3.15am now, should be sleeping soon. tiredtiredtired :/

don't forget me. because i'll miss you soooooooo much :( it's that feeling, the one where you haven't even left but are already looking forward to coming back? yup.

it's times like these where you also realise how great some (a lot) of your friends are. thanks for all the moments together. this post is really cheesy, agree? so farewell-ish cliche!

tomorrow i'll wake up in a whole new land (ok, not really that new) and a whole new life. with school?! and studying?! and significantly less money... such a big sudden change from slackerhood to a university lifestyle. i mean, studying?! arghhhhh

sheesh, look at this post. my writing skills have really gone down the drain.

i think my the mood is too depressing for me to blog properly, so i'll continue again once settle down in melbourne. au revoir

by the corrs.

i think it's just fated. i've been staring at the keyboard for 15 minutes but i have no idea what to say.

ya.

---

look, even world of warcraft has a valentines day?!

Adventurers who recently and successfully offered a civilian or guard a Love Token are considered "Adored." Any subsequent offering of Love Tokens will result in a Gift/Pledge of Friendship containing quest items but no toys. Occasionally, the NPC will not feel the same way about you as you do for him/her. Once you are rejected, you will be considered "Heartbroken" and anyone you talk to will tell you to come back later when you're not so sad. Fellow adventurers can cure each other of this lovesickness by offering a Friendship Bracelet.

some things in WoW can be pretty cool, but this is just pretty damn freaky. more like... wtf.

Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe I'm acting like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why

i got a new computer! and it's quite good, here's the specs:

3.2ghz intel
geforce 6600
1gb ram, 80gb hd
dvd combo, 2.1 speakers and 15" lcd

the price of computers are really so super cheap now! like, my old computer is kinda worthless. and it's considering it's still quite good, it's a bittersweet feeling. but my mom's thinking of staying with me for a considerable amount of time, so i thought having a good computer would do me some good. haha. at least i'll have something to engross myself in, even if i happen to be locked up at home.

feeling quite bored and lethargic of late. almost all of my friends are busy in the day time, with work or army. and those that aren't really busy? well i'm going to be seeing them very often from next month onwards... haha so i'm not really bothering that much. add the fact that my internet is having it's moods, so that throws dota out of the question. i caught the sleep bug!! you know that i slept about 16 hours today?! and i'm still tired.

oh well.

dad's buying back supper later. haha oyster ommelette and popiah. shiokkkkkkk. now i just have to eat chicken rice and laksa and and roti prata and nasi lemak and infinite servings of japanese cuisine. sighhhhh..

rediscovered lots of new songs while ripping cds to my computer. cuz now i have the whole computer to myself and tons of space, so i'm just dumping every single cd i have into my computer. the hard part'll come when i have to choose which one to upload to my mp3 player tho. haha.

and still have yet to practice for tomorrow's worship rehearsal. oops. not really in the mood for playing electric guitar nowadays (i need to practice really badly).

ok then, time to practice now. because world of warcraft servers are down for their weekly maintainence (can you believe me?!).

so today was pretty drastic, because a lot of significant things happened. most people wouldn't even think twice about most of it, but they mean quite a lot to me.

first, my internet's a bitch. it disconnects every 6 minutes on average. if i'm lucky, maybe 50 minutes. and you know i've logged on to the WoW server about 100 times today? because i kept disconnecting every 6 freaking minutes?! that got me really pissed. i almost went to the extent of going out just to play, but that goes beyond my moral values.

second up, my friend's busy for v day, so now we can't go out. bummer right? but i'm going to australia that night. and who goes on a valentines day date during lunch anyway. probably should find someone better to go out with than me :/ but to digress, i've kinda given up on it. cuz i can be so unreasonably sensitive, and the closest friends just leave the deepest wounds. maybe add insecure to one of those charateristics, and i'm a bomb waiting to explode. there's only 10 days left anyway. debs likes to get pissed when i ever mention anything remotely close to it.

this morning i was clearing through my cupboards, and read lots of my old and not so old cards. and. i wanted to write something about cards people write and how a lot of times they say one thing 'oh you mean so much to me' and 'we'll be friends forever!' but when you look at it from your point of view, it looks all wobbly and upside down. like a jelly thingy. that just got melted by cyclops super eyes or whatever. but i couldn't really find the right words for it so this is how i'll have to describe it. ok.

finally, my mom's gonna be staying in australia. this is just the worst news of the day. because she's going to take a part time degree, which'll span a WHOLE YEAR. so i'll be staying with my mom for one whole year in australia. no more people in the house, no more parties, no more booze, no more drugs or ciggies or girls or computer games or any LIFE AT ALL just MOM. at least she has the credit card. sigh.

talking to jared online now. my social life is so pathetic that sometimes he just seems like the best person to talk to. maybe more like the only person to talk to. now he says that i'm interesting because he empathises with what i write in my blog. and i'm thinking ?!?!?! and i didn't even give him my blog address in the first place. luckily i know his blog address... got my sherlock holmes private detective skills going on...

who cares about all this shit anyway, right? my guitar is calling.

getting increasingly finicky these days. meh what's wrong with me. but here's an interesting read that vict pointed out to me:

It's All Up To You
Singapore gets the wrap around the region as being boring. I myself faced this conclusion for a brief time when I first moved here during the initial months. People say there is nothing to do but eat, shop, and watch movies here. I begged the question if those were not the core things that most people did in any other city around the world. After a certain point in my stay here I realized that Singapore was only going to become as boring as I allowed it to be. It was up to me to interject excitement and fun into this place and if I took a few others along for the ride with me, then all for the better. Singapore is definitely a place where you can carve out your own interests. Locals are willing to give it a go as well. They may not be the first to try, but if you form a small group of friends to normalize the activity, then you can find yourself enjoying a fun time and meeting and making new friends in the process. I have experienced that here in Singapore and I am so lucky to have the chance to live and work in such a place. It is a fantastic place within Asia to call home and a great hub from which to launch both business and personal travel to some of the most exotic places in the world.

*check out the blog

because it seems like everyone but me thinks that singapore is a boring place, when there is totally so much to do. click the link and check out the rest of it, it's pretty funny.

haven't really bothered to blog about anything at all for the past 2 weeks. but here's what's happened so far.

i'm out of camp, disrupted. well, almost, but i've been let off all the way till i fly to australia. which is a good thing! no more guard duties and whatnot. got sick, got well, received quite a bit of hongbaos for the recent chinese new year and played lots of computer games. not really planning for anything at all, just enjoying my time bumming around (probably the last time ever in my life).

the to-do list is up, mainly.
1) have a haircut
2) exercise
3) buy a phone? (probably not, but n70 if i do)
4) buy some sunglasses if i don't get the phone. the more practical option
5) spectacles and contact lenses
6) read my bible?
7) study (not so important. haha)
8) practice my guitar and play less games

ok that's the most that i'll bother to write. till next time...

hello
do you miss me
i hear you say you do
but not the way i'm missing you

what's new
how's the weather
is it stormy where you are
you sound so close but it feels like you're so far
would it mean anything
if you knew what i'm left imagining?

got back from the last outfield exercise today, and was so tired that i just fell dead asleep in the bunk. and when i woke up, guess what, i was the only one around! at least the only one who stayed back voluntarily (if you consider oversleeping voluntary).

refrained from going out again this weekend. cuz i'm really trying to save some money for my bike. borrowing/taking from parents isn't really in my kind of lifestyle. but finally went for dota with jon ong, bryan tan and gang later. a really crappy game for me :( my score was like, 1-10! but i won the next game... barely :/

anyway jon ong came over to my house for some supper but in the end his stomach gave him sooo much trouble that i felt so paiseh for letter him come in. should've just made him go home. cuz he wanted to come in to my house to have some instant noodles (i bet he just wanted me to wash his dishes..) but finally ate only about half a packet.

as he was in the toilet for quite a while, the first thing that came to my mind was: white russians. as in, the drink. one shot vodka, one shot kahlua, and top up with milk. shake with ice, and serve in a highball.

lol had a bit too many drinks. ahhhhhhh

i just got back from bangkok. what a way to spend the weekend. but i'll leave that for another day.

i think i read too much into situations and people all the time. too optimistic about some things and way too cynical about other things. maybe i should just forget about it. it's bad to be living in your dreams.

i hate it when people are depressed. esp when i can't do anything about it. esp because i can't do anything about it. sigh.

i'm going to thailand later with the sonnies. wonder what'll happen... hopefully it won't be a last minute screwup. it's already a last minute thing anyway, just hope that it's not screwed up. and that there'll something more than just sex. cuz it sounds like some freaky sex holiday.

anyway i met this new guy called jared. one of sarah's friends. and he knows so much about me that it's super damn freaky. but he's not that scary, so i'm ok :) (you better not know my blog address!!!! [i bet he does])

watched broken flowers today. bah, film critics are liars. either that, or i have really unfashionable tastes. because i thought the film sucked? but it was kinda arty. a bit too draggy for me, anyway. i think sarah was dying of boredom throughout the show, haha oops.

then we went to see my brother sing at the esplanade. he was supposed to start at 7pm, but the rain delayed it till 7.45pm! was a good thing though, because we arrived there late. they haven't been practicing much at all, but they still sound pretty good! i hope they get together and start practicing more this year, because there were really good last time. even my brother was complaining to my mom about how crappy they are now. relatively, of course. haha. i think they won one of the awards for best local acapella group before. cool, huh?

ate so much today also. kinda stuffed, but you know how you still feel like eating? i think that's called that gluttony/greed. i love eating man. hahaha. ate fish and chips for lunch, and the taiwanese shi lin oyster mee sua from far east after that. and then ice kachang at wisma. and char kway teow + oyster egg for dinner. woah and i had oyster egg (newton) like last night for supper. sheesh.

dumb thing happened... left my debit card at fish&co after settling the bill. i'm such a blur person, can't believe it. sarah said i might have thrown it in the trash with the receipt. that's like even more stupid if it was true lah. called the bank's hotline to get them to cancel it after that. thankfully it was a 1800 free line, because the stupid bank redirected me and put me on hold for about a billion times!

luckily i also brought my atm card. so i could withdraw money. really thank God man, all my money is where it is! whoever found the card must've been nice enough to know not to use it. the world needs more of these people, yeah?

well, still had quite some fun. thanks yup. back to camp tomorrow... bleah. haha, and top it off with a 24km jungle movement at night (in p. tekong!) and a trip to thailand this saturday.

12mn! time to check in for the night... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........