everything in
it's right place

today was rather strange.

went to church really tired this morning; due to last night's guard duty. we sort of left before the armskote was closed, and i think a few people got in trouble because of (a really naggy) duty officer. due to security measures, people aren't usually allowed to leave until the armskote is closed and checked, to make sure people don't bring home guns etc. but nobody really cares nowadays - they'd trade the guns any day for freedom.

was half dazed in church, and didn't really pay attention to the sermon. it was something about, alpha? how could a sermon be about alpha? nevermind. skipped cell after that because our group was supposed to play basketballsoccerwhatever. and i was so stoned i just stood there and waved my arms, too lazy to really run. or walk at all. one of the first ones to quit - just didn't really have the mood. at all.

stoned in church because jerm said that sarah would probably be late in meeting us. but actually she was already at holland v, and waited for 30+ mins? sorry. but she had this scarysad expression on her face. well. don't dig other people's problems. then at jelita she suddenly seemed all happier. so... strange, for lack of a better word. delifrance, tarts and coffee are the road to happiness, possibly.

electrico, which is short for electric company, is one of the upcoming local bands to hit the pop rock scene in singapore. and i think they're really good. for a local production. no no, i think they're incredible. haven't heard good local songs for a really long time, not since some random band about 'april' or whatnot. too bad that was wayyyy back in '98; who'd knew i'd be downloading illegal local indie songs 7 years ago?

zero sticks. because boredom really isn't a good excuse nowadays. and melancholy never could light up any. not now, anyway.

everybody knows
that we're gonna have a good time again
just leave it all behind
say it'll all be fine
that you never knew
just, just one of the few

inevitable tiredness sometimes induces the surreal sensation of lightness - to be able to tip toe, reach up and hang amongst the clouds; the emptiness between them. to look down at one's self from the heavens and ponder about lives, life and its entirety, yet about nothing at all.

what's for breakfast. did she does she will she should she could she. jump. sleep. fly drift satisfied. think. reminise. maybe. yes no yes amen.

enjoy the breeze. think imagine dream. to sleep, fall. your arms in mine, and i in you.

tick tock click it's 4 oclock.

everytime i see her online i feel like messaging her.

but today i didn't, though. and i didn't smoke at all the past field camp.

talking about field camp. it was soooooooooooooo tiring. we practically walked around almost aimlessly. and this afternoon the sky suddenly pissed on us at 4pm+ and we were just kneeling there in the rain waiting for the recce team to check out the route. went back to camp with my uniform dripping wet and face still full of camo.

have guard duty tomorrow. guard duty on saturdays is basically 4 shifts, with each shift lasting 2 hours starting at 8am saturday till 8am sunday morning. dunno if i have enough energy to go to church; probably will but i bet i'll sleep through the entire sermon. unlike the men, guard duty for commanders is a real pain in the butt because i have to wake up every 2 hours to check the ammo (there's like 125 live bullets in the safe) and make sure all the keys and guards are still around in e guard room. so it's like a living nightmare, you have nothing to do at all but yet you can't really sleep. so you just stay awake. and that's surely one of the quickest ways to go crazy.

typing using my phone now. which is pretty pathetic (not to mention really tedious too) .

today's army exercise is coy offensive training, which happens to be this huge group of people walking around the jungle in a single line. quite screwed up, to say the least. the recce team was led by tousif who had the really unpleasent job of navigating for the entire coy. and he got screwed big time too). so we walked around all morning, stopped at 3 for a break and walked from 10 all the way till 2am. which was REALLY tiring. but somehow when times get tough you do manage to psyche yourself into thinking positively. so that motivation was eating four slices of buttered bread with cheese inside. Kraft cheese...

sarah bought tickets for me to her ACJC idol without her confirming with me first! anyway it's only two bucks so it's nothing much. luckily diana's free to go; initially wanted to ask jane and emily but they're going overseas...

argh this place is really full of mosquitoes. damn jungles

In a taxi back to camp now, all the way from boonlay which is really damn far. Just sent emily home because i was SOOO bored (really no lie). Thinking back, it was quite a pointless night save the company of emily. Walked around jurong point for a while ate ice cream, waffles, peach tea! More or less a pile of junk food...

Days seem to pass and go nowadays. Desensitised from the finer, more delicate yet beautiful realities perhaps. Wakeupeatsleepscreamshoutcrysulkdreamponderswimsleep. Perhaps.