everything in
it's right place

sigh. i've been so temperamental this weekend, people just gradually driving me up the wall until i snap at them.

punched a friend today after he went a little too far, well i didn't really mean to punch him that hard. more of a for fun thing. and i was semi-ticked off already but he just stared me down. which made me want to punch him for real.

i'm still a little pissed. no, fucking pissed. and sad. i probably had enough adrenaline to smash my racket over his head. but sigh, swallowed some pride for the sake of friendship and trying to forget it.

calm down
calm down.
pray
pray.

wow. that last one sounded so damn emo.

anyway dave matthews band rocks. i probably cheated them of 40 songs or $80 worth of songs that i've downloaded from the 'net.

came back at 2am last night, some mini road trip around melbourne? ended up at south yarra (i think) and ate way too much at chapelli's, a pretty nice cafe/bistro that opens 24hrs (!?). i had banana pancakes and hot chocolate too, so i'm excused breakfast today. ha.


zzz sleep

i'm feeling pretty shit.

sometimes friendships can turn so sour, or at least seem that way. so fake, so artificial. who am i to judge relationships, is it just a matter of personal opinion?

i've always chosen my friends; i don't keep those who have principles i don't agree with. is that wrong? is it wrong to dump them because i simply cannot be bothered repairing lost relations? finding new ones to replace the old. dumping them perhaps of some silly thing i did ages ago and just don't want to bring it up ever again.

i must be biased, scarred for life (or at least quite a while). seems like nothing seems to sway my opinion anymore; i've purely given up and living it by the moment.

obviously i still care enough about it to drag out a long-ish emo post, but probably not enough to do anything about it.

just sitting and waiting.

(maybe wishing? not trying to be lame but... ahhhh)

had the most ridiculous lab practical today. people wearing specs are excused from safety glasses, how logical is that? but i'm not complaining! and machines which are not really working at all, and lab notes with such dense language (maybe i'm just dumb) and a total lack of seriousness!

we played bingo and connect four and cursed at useless lab machinery, then proceeded with more pen and paper games. then the four of us (tim didi steph i) discussed about the futility of our course, how the four of us were doing the work of a single person (not even close to being succesful either), how we'd be pressing 'stop stop enter' our whole lives in front of spectrophotometers, messing up back corrections, editing our own results for the greater good of scientific progress.

haven't really succeeded in my goal of making tons of new friends, but at least i've met a handful (if i can remember their names... hmm?). sometimes i'm wondering if my old friends think i'm a dick because i don't hang out with them so often anymore.

i've been missing the 3 guys back home, those kind of friends you just can't replace.

maybe once i get my phone fixed, or find the computer cable for my mom's V3 (the blackish new-ish one... with rubber nonslip surface thingy) i'll upload some pictures.

ok i'm eating my second dinner. pasta with olive oil, mushroom soup (made from 500g of mushrooms!!?!) and coffee. ok enough rambling pft.

it's funny how all the wrong reasons motivate you study!

or go to for lectures!

and how i've noticed my conversational skills disappearing (perhaps they've been lost for a few years),

especially when it's the time to say something, but i always miss it!

DAMN




now go to sleep, chris, you have a freaking 8am lecture tomorrow! 8am!!! yay!