but i've decided to drop the topic. arguing against your beliefs never do work. and of course, christianity in itself is 'the better story'. that's a reference to yann martel's book; having hope in something is better than having no hope at all. my religious life is one of those cycle, round and round things. like a sine wave (or cosine wave, whatever) that just goes on and on. and for now, that'll have to do.
i've decided to go on another of those determined bouts of bible study again. the last time i did that, it sort of turned out quite well. so i can at least understand what on earth it's really about.
also gonna start studying chemistry and some basic math again. i'm starting at easy a levels stuff first and hopefully by the end of the year i'll remember most of my organic chem. it's amazing how i can't remember a single thing related to academic work. not even the basic quadratic root or whatever formula! the x = b+- dunno what lah.
i'm too lazy to blog today lah. bah bah bahbahbah sldjfsdflkk,...,njj.....
faith
30 July 2005
ok i dunno why i've gone mad recently but i've been talking a lot of nonsense. hahahaha. sorry (should i be saying sorry?).
went to sonicfest yesterday, which was a christian music festival at fort canning park featuring local and international bands like planetshakers, sonic flood and surreal. the place was beautiful (i've not been there before, save for those primary school excursions). however i didn't really like most of the music. from a general point of view, i think christian music should be able to convey a message, a evangelical message. otherwise it would just be deemed as rock, or pop, or dance or whatever genre you want to call it. it would just be spewing out your own thoughts, feelings. and most of the local bands - i just don't understand what kind of music they are trying to create. i wouldn't really call it music. but not to digress from the topic...
back to sonicfest. i don't think anybody besides a christian would've gone by himself, unless he was dragged along by another christian. he'd probably die of shock. there were people raising their hands, closing their eyes, shouting at the top of their voices. people on their knees, people jumping like mad bunnies on rabies (do bunnies get rabies?) at one point i was jumping up and down like a mad bunny too, but it was probably more because hian liang wanted me to jump up and down like a mad bunny with him than anything else.
the atmosphere reminded me of a club. security checks, door passes, crowded toilets. perhaps more like esplanade's baybeats. so i thought it was a bit weird.
religion is believing in the unseen, the intangible stuff. and being merely human (is that right? merely human?), it's difficult to be able to do such things. don't worry, i'm always behind your back although you'd never see me, ever. you can feel me, see the things i do, hear me, but you'd never see me. that's just an analogy for what i think.
atheist probably laugh at me all day long. why do people believe in some of the things they do? is it just because so and so was brought up all his life on this same beliefs and reasonings, that he is just too accustomed to it to believe in anything else? sometimes it is so. sometimes christianity feels like it has so much meaning, sometimes it feels like it has no meaning at all.
i wonder about the tons of people who go to concerts and festivals just like this, who actually just like to listen to good music, but justify themselves by raising their hands and jumping like rabid bunnies. i think i'm just confused.
although in the end, i think it's much better to be confused than ignorant.
i'll stop here, will continue later.
went to sonicfest yesterday, which was a christian music festival at fort canning park featuring local and international bands like planetshakers, sonic flood and surreal. the place was beautiful (i've not been there before, save for those primary school excursions). however i didn't really like most of the music. from a general point of view, i think christian music should be able to convey a message, a evangelical message. otherwise it would just be deemed as rock, or pop, or dance or whatever genre you want to call it. it would just be spewing out your own thoughts, feelings. and most of the local bands - i just don't understand what kind of music they are trying to create. i wouldn't really call it music. but not to digress from the topic...
back to sonicfest. i don't think anybody besides a christian would've gone by himself, unless he was dragged along by another christian. he'd probably die of shock. there were people raising their hands, closing their eyes, shouting at the top of their voices. people on their knees, people jumping like mad bunnies on rabies (do bunnies get rabies?) at one point i was jumping up and down like a mad bunny too, but it was probably more because hian liang wanted me to jump up and down like a mad bunny with him than anything else.
the atmosphere reminded me of a club. security checks, door passes, crowded toilets. perhaps more like esplanade's baybeats. so i thought it was a bit weird.
religion is believing in the unseen, the intangible stuff. and being merely human (is that right? merely human?), it's difficult to be able to do such things. don't worry, i'm always behind your back although you'd never see me, ever. you can feel me, see the things i do, hear me, but you'd never see me. that's just an analogy for what i think.
atheist probably laugh at me all day long. why do people believe in some of the things they do? is it just because so and so was brought up all his life on this same beliefs and reasonings, that he is just too accustomed to it to believe in anything else? sometimes it is so. sometimes christianity feels like it has so much meaning, sometimes it feels like it has no meaning at all.
i wonder about the tons of people who go to concerts and festivals just like this, who actually just like to listen to good music, but justify themselves by raising their hands and jumping like rabid bunnies. i think i'm just confused.
although in the end, i think it's much better to be confused than ignorant.
i'll stop here, will continue later.
so yay
29 July 2005
usually no one posts comments, but since now there are people who do, i must celebrate this occasion.
there was once a chicken named Bob (no reference to mr brown). she hatched and grew up to be a hardworking chicken, graduating as a doctor from nus and became a specialist in sgh. she helped many people and laid many eggs, gave birth to two chicks named michelle and boblet. but one day the evil farmer Mr Pig came by and slaughtered her, selling her at the local wet market for a grand two dollars.
what does this all mean, infer, suggests? nothing, because not everything has to have a point. what does it mean? nothing in particular, because not everything has to have a significant meaning. it might suggest that the authour of the paragraph in question might have gone radically mad, but not really that he misses W or still hates X after Y happened to Z and (insert action here, i ran out of letters).
it can be noted that i am also terribly broke and any contributions would be welcomed. however despite this, i'm still going for this friday's sonicfest. sonic flood and planetshakers are going to be performing there. two really popular bands, however i've barely heard the first one and have never heard the latter at all. the entire ygone is going to be there. ygone is the name of my church cell group, a creative combination of the phrase 'youth group one' (!!!).
i also didn't notice that so(ooooooooooo) many people read or at least stumble upon this crap real estate that is my blog (maybe nowadays it's called cyber-estate?). interesting, that i never tell anyone about this. at all. spies!!!
i suddenly feel like playing dota. but i'm supposed to be broke (i have 49c in my ez link card, 5c in my wallet and $60 in my bank account, which doesn't have a working atm card). this is so no life.
note to self: reply to 'beckys' penpal email. this becky's from america; she used to flip burgers and clean ceiling fans. i 'met' her 9 years ago and we correspond regularly via email (i email her once a year/two years). somehow all of her letters always seem to be about the same thing (see below), so sometimes i wonder if becky is really a person or a computer.
there was once a chicken named Bob (no reference to mr brown). she hatched and grew up to be a hardworking chicken, graduating as a doctor from nus and became a specialist in sgh. she helped many people and laid many eggs, gave birth to two chicks named michelle and boblet. but one day the evil farmer Mr Pig came by and slaughtered her, selling her at the local wet market for a grand two dollars.
what does this all mean, infer, suggests? nothing, because not everything has to have a point. what does it mean? nothing in particular, because not everything has to have a significant meaning. it might suggest that the authour of the paragraph in question might have gone radically mad, but not really that he misses W or still hates X after Y happened to Z and (insert action here, i ran out of letters).
it can be noted that i am also terribly broke and any contributions would be welcomed. however despite this, i'm still going for this friday's sonicfest. sonic flood and planetshakers are going to be performing there. two really popular bands, however i've barely heard the first one and have never heard the latter at all. the entire ygone is going to be there. ygone is the name of my church cell group, a creative combination of the phrase 'youth group one' (!!!).
i also didn't notice that so(ooooooooooo) many people read or at least stumble upon this crap real estate that is my blog (maybe nowadays it's called cyber-estate?). interesting, that i never tell anyone about this. at all. spies!!!
i suddenly feel like playing dota. but i'm supposed to be broke (i have 49c in my ez link card, 5c in my wallet and $60 in my bank account, which doesn't have a working atm card). this is so no life.
note to self: reply to 'beckys' penpal email. this becky's from america; she used to flip burgers and clean ceiling fans. i 'met' her 9 years ago and we correspond regularly via email (i email her once a year/two years). somehow all of her letters always seem to be about the same thing (see below), so sometimes i wonder if becky is really a person or a computer.
so, we're penpals! (??)
28 July 2005
HEY I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI I HAVENT TALKED TO YOU IN AWHILE WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO WELL GOTTA GO TALK TO YA LATER
BECKY
roundabout
27 July 2005
everything is in cycles, from the days and seasons and the weather to the routines and people's moods and events in a person's life. get closer to this friend, further from that friend. feel like running all day, feel like not running at all. sometimes it just seems like i'm living for myself. what's wrong with that? isn't everyone like that. it sounds wrong, though. everyone's supposed to be nice and friendly, helpful in a certain way but not too helpful in many other ways.
some people i just wish i could get along more easily with. some people i'm really more than thankful for that i get along so easily with. some people i miss a lot and some people i miss a lot but don't want to think i do. and some people i've just given up on. which is sad because 'life' isn't about giving up, is it? it's about fighting and struggling and never losing hope. but sometimes people just get way too tired for that. why struggle so hard, facing the probably impending failure when you know that you can just sit back and rot, saving yourself some wasted breath.
just so we could sit here together and look at the sun go down, maybe never come up again. and if it does from the wrong side of the sky. you know that you're not the person you used to be when your hair is standing on its ends and people walk on the ceiling while the sky is falling. let's just be cynical and pretend that we have neither hope nor will for anything good.
so this is also one of the things that goes round and round (and perhaps makes no sense[to you])
some people i just wish i could get along more easily with. some people i'm really more than thankful for that i get along so easily with. some people i miss a lot and some people i miss a lot but don't want to think i do. and some people i've just given up on. which is sad because 'life' isn't about giving up, is it? it's about fighting and struggling and never losing hope. but sometimes people just get way too tired for that. why struggle so hard, facing the probably impending failure when you know that you can just sit back and rot, saving yourself some wasted breath.
just so we could sit here together and look at the sun go down, maybe never come up again. and if it does from the wrong side of the sky. you know that you're not the person you used to be when your hair is standing on its ends and people walk on the ceiling while the sky is falling. let's just be cynical and pretend that we have neither hope nor will for anything good.
so this is also one of the things that goes round and round (and perhaps makes no sense[to you])
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)